Dear Queenie,
I have a couple friend who threaten to leave Sint Maarten every six months. Every inconvenience becomes: “That’s it. We done.” “This island have no future.” “We moving abroad.” One month it is Canada. Next month Curaçao. Then Florida. Then somewhere in Europe because apparently everybody suddenly has an aunt in Holland. The speeches are dramatic. They complain about the roads, the government, GEBE, prices, crime, mosquitoes, customer service, Carnival noise, everything. Meanwhile, they are still here. Same house. Same jobs. Same beach every Sunday. At this point, I don’t even react anymore when they announce their departure plans because I know by next week they will be back posting guavaberry coladas and sunset photos. What confuses me is this: If they are truly unhappy, why not leave? And if they are staying, why constantly speak about the island like it is a punishment? Queenie, why do some people treat “leaving SXM” like a personality trait instead of an actual decision?—Still Here Since 2012
Dear Still Here Since 2012,
Ah yes. The Caribbean farewell tour that never actually departs. Every island has them. The people emotionally living abroad while physically still at Carrefour. Let us be fair. Life on Sint Maarten can be frustrating. Infrastructure issues, cost of living, bureaucracy, and uncertainty wear people down. Talking about leaving is often less about relocation and more about exhaustion. For many people, “I leaving” is really shorthand for: “I am tired.” “I feel stuck.” “I want something easier.” But dreaming about leaving and actually leaving are two very different things. Migration requires money, planning, paperwork, sacrifice, and starting over. Complaining is much easier. There is also another layer people rarely admit: Many who threaten to leave still deeply love the island. They complain because they are emotionally invested. If they truly felt nothing, they would quietly go. Instead, they remain here criticizing potholes by day and eating Johnny cakes by night. Now, should they constantly drag the island? Probably not. Chronic negativity becomes draining for everyone around them. But understand this behaviour for what it often is: A coping mechanism. Fantasy relocation as emotional stress relief. Until one day either: they finally leave, or they accept that no country is paradise and stop announcing departures like Carnival troupe launches. In the meantime, smile politely when the next migration speech begins. And don’t help them pack until you see an actual plane ticket.—Queenie
