Dear Queenie,
My 14-year-old daughter keeps pestering her father and me to let her start dating. I keep telling her she is too young, but you can’t tell a teenager anything these days.
I remember when I was dating and all the boys were only after one thing and they would do anything to get it, and I was older than she is now and I wasn’t ready to handle it.
Queenie, how can I keep her safe?—Protective mother
Dear Protective mother,
You can’t, not entirely. Trying to “lock her up and throw away the key” certainly isn’t the way. That will only make her rebellious, which could lead her into real trouble.
The best you can do for her is to make sure she knows all about sex, where babies come from and the dangers of STDs. Such knowledge will not encourage her to experiment, as many parents fear, but will empower her to cope with what life and teenage boys – and older men too – may throw at her.
And after you have had the “birds and bees” talk with her, both you and your husband should sit down with her and give her a thorough lesson on the lines and other tricks boys and men will use on her to try to get what they want, and how to resist them.
She especially should know the truth about such myths as “you can’t get pregnant the first time” and “you can’t get pregnant if we do it standing up” and all the other old wives’ tales that have led young girls straight into more trouble than they could handle.
Your husband should be in on this lesson because he can speak from experience and give her a man’s point of view, which should be very enlightening!
“Knowledge is power,” so they say, and “Forewarned is forearmed.”
