Dear Queenie,
I have a friend who cannot experience anything without turning it into “content.” Every lime becomes a full production. The food arrives? Nobody can touch a fork. First there must be: photos of the drinks, photos of the appetizers, videos of people “cheers-ing,” a boomerang, a slow-motion walk-in clip, and at least three retakes because “the lighting not giving.” By the time she is finished directing everybody like a low-budget Steven Spielberg, the fries cold and the ice melted. What makes it worse is that she gets annoyed if people start eating before she captures the “moment.” At this point, going out with her feels less like friendship and more like unpaid production work for Instagram. Queenie, when did living life become secondary to documenting it?—Hungry Since the Appetizer Arrived
Dear Hungry Since the Appetizer Arrived,
Social media has created a generation of people who no longer simply attend events. They curate them. For some, the experience is not complete until it has been photographed, filtered, captioned, and approved by strangers online. Your friend is not just enjoying dinner. She is producing evidence that dinner happened. Now, let us be honest. A quick photo of a nice meal? Normal. A birthday picture? Fine. But when an entire table of adults is being held hostage while one person stages “casual laughter” for the fourth time, the line has been crossed. At that point, the lime is no longer social. It is content creation with appetizers. And yes, the rest of you are unpaid extras. What makes this behaviour especially exhausting is that it interrupts presence. People stop experiencing the moment because they are busy manufacturing a version of it for later. Ironically, the people most committed to “capturing memories” often miss the actual memory itself. Now, how do you handle it? Simple. Start eating. Politely, calmly, unapologetically. If she protests, say: “The food getting cold, darling. Capture me in action.” That usually sends the message. Because friendship should not require everyone to suspend reality until the ring light is satisfied. And in the Caribbean heat especially, no plate of food should suffer for social media aesthetics. Not even for content.—Queenie
