Dear Queenie,
I have a friend who calls me whenever she needs to vent about something that’s gone wrong. She goes on and on about it and can’t get in a word. It’s exhausting and boring and I’m sick of it, but I hate to hurt her feelings.
Queenie, how do I get away from her when she starts in like this?—Had enough
Dear Had enough,
If she calls you on the phone, it is easy – you hear the doorbell ringing or something you are cooking is boiling over or another call is coming in and you excuse yourself and hang up. And if she calls back, do not answer the phone.
An in-person “conversation” is not so easy, but again, you can make some excuse, excuse yourself and just walk away. Or explain that you are not qualified to deal with this sort of problem, refer your friend to a professional expert – doctor, lawyer, counsellor, whatever – and walk away.
Referral to a professional expert works for phone calls too, and either way it works best if you keep a list of experts and their contact information handy to give her as needed.
