Dear Queenie,
I have been taking anti-depressant medications for the last 4-5 months. One of the side effects of that is less urge for sex or very low libido. But I love to have sex and still sometimes feel the need for it and have sexual cravings too.
But the problem is we have sex orally and rarely any intercourse. In the past, I used to get an orgasm even with oral sex. But since I’ve been on this medication, I cannot get an orgasm and it’s been months now. In the beginning I didn’t miss it much and actually was too busy to even think about it. But now lately the craving has started.
Also, my husband and I have sex in the same monotonous way ever since I can remember. I feel maybe if we had intercourse it might help, but the problem is he comes too soon and then I am still left unsatisfied and I feel it’s not fair. I have a right to enjoy my sexual life and it also helps to vent out frustrations of life and after I get an orgasm I can even get a very good sleep.
My husband does not have much desire for sex. He can do without it for days and almost a month. But I am the opposite. I need it and if I don’t get it I feel something is missing in my life and I am not happy.
Queenie, please could you suggest what could help in such a situation?—Getting desperate
Dear Getting desperate,
Have you talked this problem over with your doctor? Possibly an adjustment in your medication – different medication or dosage – might help.
Also, your frustration and your depression may be linked, each contributing to the other. Psychological counselling might help if that is the case. They say the most important sexual organ is the brain.
You should also talk this over with your husband. If he understood your problem better, he would probably be more helpful and would probably enjoy doing so even if he doesn’t need sex as much as you do.
Finally, a trip to the adult toy store might give you some ideas.
Nitey night, sleep tight, and don’t let the bedbugs bite (but your husband is okay!).
