Dear Queenie,
I have a friend who can’t seem to make or keep a date. If I call her to suggest going out for lunch or even just going shopping together, she’ll tell me she’ll let me know, but most of the time she ends up telling me she just can’t make it.
Recently I suggested we go to a community meeting together and she said she’d let me know, but when it got close to the date I still hadn’t heard from her so when my sister suggested we go together I called my friend to ask whether she was going, but she was too busy to talk to me and said she’d call me back later but she never did, so I just went ahead and went to the meeting with my sister. Now my friend is mad at me.
Queenie, was I wrong or was she?—Frustrated friend
Dear Frustrated,
In this case, you both were wrong. Apologise to your friend for not going to the meeting with her. And from now on, when she gives you the “I’ll let you know” routine, tell her you will take that to mean “No” unless and until she gets back to you with a firm “Yes.” Or just stop trying to arrange to do things with her.
