Dear Queenie,
When I married my second husband I was a widow with 2 small children. My husband has always treated my kids like they were his own and he has been a wonderful father to them and grandfather to their children now that they are grown up, but they have never given him any special acknowledgement like a phone call or a greeting card on special days like his birthday or Fathers Day or Christmas.
Queenie, how do I make them understand how much it would mean to him to get some sort of recognition from them on such days?—Exasperated mother
Dear Mother,
You should have demanded such recognition from your children from the time you married their stepfather. Children do not learn such thing by osmosis, they need to be carefully taught, as an old song goes (in a much different context).
However, better late than never. Explain to them exactly what recognition you expect from them from now on, and remind them as needed until they learn to offer it without being prodded.
