Dear Queenie,
I’m in the middle of getting a divorce and I’ve fallen in love with the man of my dreams. He says he loves me too, but there’s one problem.
He’s my sister’s ex-husband.
Queenie, is it okay for us to get married?—Ex-sister-in-law
Dear Ex-sister-in-law,
It’s not okay for you to marry him until your own divorce is final.
After that, it depends on several factors. How does your sister feel about her ex? If she never wants to see him again, your marrying him would certainly cause some estrangement between you and her. It would also make things difficult for the rest of the family whenever a family gathering was planned.
Are there young children involved, either yours or your sister’s? Again, this could cause some confusion, at the very least.
On the other hand, if everyone involved, children included, is reasonably mature, it might be possible for you to make this work. But be very certain that you really love this man and are not just “on the rebound” from the break-up of your own marriage.
Also, a quiet conversation with your sister might be in order here. For one thing, you could learn how she would feel about your marrying her ex. You might also learn a few things about him that would make you think twice about the whole thing.