Dear Queenie,
My daughter has been out of school for several years during which time she had two children which she says she never really wanted. Now she wants me to take in my grandchildren so she can go away to college and get her degree.
I love my grandchildren, but I am a widow not getting any younger and I am not up to taking care of young children full time all by myself, let alone having them live with me.
Queenie, how do I say “no”?—Elderly grandma
Dear Grandma,
You say “NO” loud and clear and as often as it takes for your daughter to get the message. There is no reason she cannot stay here, keep her job if she has one or get a job if she does not so she can pay for child care, and go to college here part-time to get her degree.
And while you are about it, tell your daughter that if she does not want children she should either not have sex or learn to use birth control effectively.
