Dear Queenie,
A friend of mine is getting married and invited me to be in her wedding party.
The thing is, the man she is marrying is a total jerk. He has no education and bad manners, he can’t hold a job and he takes out his troubles on her – he says whatever goes wrong is her fault and never because of anything he has done or not done or done wrong.
Queenie, how do I refuse her invitation without spoiling our friendship?—Disapproving friend
Dear Disapproving,
I am not sure you can have it both ways. You could try telling her you have a prior commitment that you simply cannot get out of, but your friend may well see through that excuse.
On the other hand, if you tell her what you have told me your friend probably will resent your “judgmental attitude” and the righter you are, the more she will resent it.
You might want to consider being there for her on her wedding day and praying that you are wrong about her fiancé.
