Dear Queenie,
I have discovered that there are two types of people in this world. People who receive a gift, take out the present and eventually throw away the bag. And people like my mother. To her, a good gift bag is a family asset. Birthday over? "Don't throw away that bag!" Christmas? "Save the bags!" Baby shower? She is already smoothing out the tissue paper before you've properly looked at the gift. And heaven help you if the bag has nice handles. That one apparently has investment value. She folds them carefully and stores them inside other gift bags, which are then stored inside larger gift bags. There are bags in closets. Bags behind doors. Bags inside cupboards. I recently found one I am almost certain I received a birthday present in more than ten years ago. The strange thing is that she remembers them. I'll be wrapping a present and she'll suddenly say: "Use the blue bag with the flowers." Queenie, there are 47 blue bags with flowers. She also saves tissue paper. Not fresh tissue paper. Tissue paper that has already lived a full life. It has been folded, unfolded, crumpled, straightened and folded again. Some of it looks exhausted. I understand reusing things. I'm all for not wasting perfectly good bags. But surely at some point a gift bag has completed its earthly assignment and can be released? How many times must a bag say "Happy Birthday!" before we allow it to rest? —Buried in Bags
Dear Buried in Bags,
Your mother is not hoarding gift bags. She is operating a circular economy. That bag has a career. It has travelled. It has history. And apparently retirement is not included in its employment contract. This practice is particularly dangerous in families because certain gift bags become so established that they begin circulating. You give Auntie a scarf in the gold bag. Six months later, Auntie gives your mother perfume... in the gold bag. Your mother then gives you a Christmas present... in your own gold bag. At that point, nobody owns the bag. The family does. And I confess: your mother has a point. Throwing away a perfectly good gift bag only to spend money buying another perfectly good gift bag next week is difficult to defend. But there must be standards. A bag with a torn bottom has served. A handle hanging by one thread has served. A bag whose "Happy 30th Birthday!" has been crossed out so someone can use it for a christening has definitely served. And tissue paper that sounds tired when you unfold it deserves peace. So perhaps you need a household rule. Keep the genuinely reusable ones. Choose one reasonable storage space. When that space is full, something has to go before another bag joins the collection. No expansion into neighbouring cupboards. No satellite gift-bag facilities. No strategic reserve beneath the bed. And never throw away one of your mother's bags in front of her. You don't need that kind of family conflict. Just quietly wait until the handles fall off. Because eventually every gift bag reaches the end. Except that one extremely sturdy bag from 2009. That thing will probably pass to you in the will. —Queenie
