Dear Queenie,
I think I am being accused of cat theft. I live in Guana Bay in a nice neighbourhood where most of us know each other and try to be neighbourly. My next-door neighbour has a cat. Or perhaps I should say she had a cat, because lately he appears to have changed his address without consulting either of us. It started innocently. He would come into my yard. I like cats, so I’d pet him. Then I started giving him a little food occasionally. My neighbour is hardly home, and sometimes he would be hanging around for hours, so I started putting out water too. Eventually he began coming inside. Then he started sleeping at my house. At first, I would put him back outside or carry him over to my neighbour’s property. He would return. Sometimes almost immediately. Now he has reached the point where he seems genuinely reluctant to go home. If I take him over there, he follows me back. If I don’t let him inside, he sits at my door looking like a tiny refugee who has been denied asylum. Recently, my neighbour confronted me and accused me of trying to steal her cat. I was shocked. I told her I wasn’t keeping him there. He keeps coming. She said he wouldn’t keep coming if I didn’t feed him. Okay. Fair point. But what am I supposed to do when he’s sitting there hungry and she’s hardly home? I don’t want trouble with my neighbour. We live next door to each other and otherwise have always gotten along. But I have also become attached to this cat. And, apparently, he has become attached to me. Queenie, can you steal a cat that keeps stealing itself? —Accused Cat Burglar
Dear Accused Cat Burglar,
The defence would like the record to show that the alleged stolen property has four legs and apparently crossed the property line voluntarily. Unfortunately, the prosecution also has a case. Your neighbour is right about one important thing: You are feeding her cat. That changes matters. Cats are remarkably skilled at identifying favourable economic conditions. Your house currently offers food, water, affection, shelter and a resident human who appears to be available. Meanwhile, his official residence frequently has nobody home. The cat has reviewed both packages. He has made a decision. That doesn’t mean you’ve deliberately stolen him, but once you began feeding him regularly and allowing him to sleep inside, you stopped being merely the friendly neighbour who pets the cat. You’ve become House Number Two. And from your neighbour’s perspective, that’s understandably upsetting. She may love her cat very much even if her schedule keeps her away from home. Imagine discovering that your pet increasingly prefers the neighbour’s house and then watching that neighbour provide everything encouraging him to stay there. So stop arguing about who the cat “chooses”. He is not a child appearing before a custody judge. For now, stop feeding him unless you genuinely believe his welfare is at risk. Don’t encourage him inside, and don’t deliberately keep him from returning home. Then have a calm conversation with your neighbour. Not: “Well, he doesn’t want to live with you.” That will end the Guana Bay neighbourhood harmony immediately. Instead: “I’m sorry this has become uncomfortable. I wasn’t trying to take him. He started spending more time here and because you were often out, I fed him and let him stay. I can understand how that may have encouraged him.” Then ask the more important question: Is the cat actually being adequately cared for? Being outside or having an owner who works long hours doesn’t automatically mean neglect. But if he’s consistently hungry, without fresh water, shelter or appropriate care, that’s a different issue and deserves a direct conversation. If he is being properly cared for and simply prefers your amenities, then Madam, you have been running a competing hotel. Close the buffet. You may discover that once Room Service ends, your furry refugee suddenly remembers where he lives. And if, despite that, he continues spending every waking hour at your house? Then perhaps you and your neighbour need a different conversation about what arrangement is actually best for him. But she has to be part of that decision. Because cats may choose their favourite people. They do not, unfortunately, handle the transfer paperwork. —Queenie
