Dear Mr. Patterson,
I hope that I have misunderstood you and that you are confusing marital infidelity with consensual non-monogamy.
In your letter, you appear to plead that infidelity in marriage is acceptable, natural behavior and should be forgiven out of hand. I find this concept to be totally repugnant. Whether infidelity in marriage is purely to do with undisclosed sexual adventures or something as mundane as who drank the last soda in the refrigerator, it should be viewed as unacceptable.
Infidelity is basically dishonesty or lying about one’s actions. This type of behavior shouldn’t be tolerated in society or business and certainly not in marriage, where you have sworn to be one with your partner. When there are lapses in honesty, whatever the cause, they should be addressed, the erring party should make amends and ensure that they do not make the same mistake again.
If dishonesty becomes a habit, then this could amount to abusive behavior and the marriage may well be doomed as there was clearly misrepresentation in the early stages of the relationship.
If, on the other hand, you are referring to consensual non-monogamy, that is a different matter altogether. When there is open dialogue and both partners agree that other relationships outside of their marriage are desired – or even only acceptable – then of course there is no problem. This type of relationship should ideally be discussed long before vows are taken.
Certainly, relationships can change over the years and if both partners agree to experimenting with different lifestyles later in their marriage, then there should be no problem with this either.
Remember, if it is agreed that the man have a “byside” then it should be perfectly acceptable for the woman to enjoy her own lover. The type and depth of external relationships should be agreed between the primary partners and, needless to say, honesty and openness should extend to secondary partners too.
If you have agreed to a traditional monogamous relationship, then whatever your urges or nature might be, stick to your vows or do the honorable thing and leave the relationship.
To sum up, any non-monogamous relationship must be based on complete honesty and equality between partners. A non-monogamous relationship should never be confused with infidelity, cheating, straying or any form of sneaking behind one’s partner’s back.
Stuart Knaggs
Dear government,
You are our (elected) boss.
You told us recently – if the newspapers are right – that the government has no money left in stock at the end of October 2020.
Without any additional communication from you, this keeps us wondering how we (civil servants) have to pay our bills starting from the end of October 2020,
I feel people around me being very unsure because of this issue. Is our major employer being able to pay its dues? It gives a lot of tensions!
This is in fact the same question that many other employees have (not being civil servants); how long may they expect to be paid by their employer?
The communication plan about this important matter by the government seems to be simple; there is none!
Day by day, people try to reach me and ask me about my expectations of government actions, and I have to be honest; even as direct advisor to the Minister I have no clue at all about future decisions and their consequences for the people of St. Maarten!
Mind you, how I am feeling! I try to comfort those in problems who are asking me for clarity (which I unfortunately cannot give because as a civil servant I am not aware of any direction the government is intended to go). I even give them a ride privately leaving from the government parking space in front of the government building to SXM hospital, and some private money for those convincing me not being able to pay any medicine needed!
To be fair; from one day to another I feel more and more being working in a third-world country! People surrounding me because they know I am from the government asking me what the future looks like, because they hear really nothing from those who should protect them. What is plan A, B or C as promised by our Prime Minister?
We have unfortunately seen nothing up till now as yet!
Government, if it is not for me, please communicate your strategy to the people of SXM.
In what way may the people of SXM rely on you, protecting their interests as best as you can?
What is your strategy? It is fully unclear to me and to a lot of people from SXM.
Please let us know!
Aren't we the people of SXM who gave you a mandate to govern and protect us!
This is just a reflection of sentiments by the people of SXM.
I should say; it is your task to comfort us with your strategy and your capability to reach the goals of that strategy. It has been quite for a lot of weeks!
Name withheld at author’s request
By Li Yigang
The year 2020 is difficult and challenging for the world. We have just experienced the past 2019, when the global economic growth has been the lowest since the financial crisis. However, starting from this year, the devastating COVID-19 disease has become a serious crisis and a global pandemic, which is the most extensive to afflict humanity in a century. It poses a grave threat to human life and health, and has a serious impact on the operation of world economy. Facing this unknown and unexpected disease, under the leadership of the Communist Party of China (CPC), Chinese people have fought a fierce war against the epidemic over the past 9 months. We have effectively controlled the epidemic within a short period of time, have quickly promoted the resumption of work and production, as well as business and market, and have taken the lead in realizing economic recovery.
On the occasion of celebrating the 71st anniversary of the founding of the People’s Republic of China, I would like to briefly introduce to local friends China’s achievements in fighting against the virus, and the experience and practices of coordinating epidemic control with economic and social development.
- Fight together against COVID-19 and gain major strategic achievements.
On December 31 last year, the Wuhan City Health Commission announced on its website 27 pneumonia cases of unknown cause, and on the same day, China informed the World Health Organization of these cases detected in Wuhan. Four institutions carried out parallel laboratory testing of the samples to identify the pathogen.
On January 7, 2020, the sequencing of the virus was completed, and China CDC succeeded in isolating the first novel coronavirus strain. China shared the genome sequence information with WHO and other countries, providing an important basis for virus testing and vaccine development in other countries. While there are still many unknowns about the virus, starting from January 3, China began sending regular, timely updates about the novel coronavirus to WHO and relevant countries. For instance, China sent such updates to the USA 30 times in the first month.
With the development of the epidemic and the discovery of person-to-person spread of the virus, on January 23, two days before the Chinese New Year, a complete lockdown was applied to Wuhan city, which is a domestic transportation hub in China. This measure was a landmark during this epidemic prevention and control. It sparked a lot of discussion in the international media at the time. Some reported that it was an attempt to contain the virus, while some believed there was no evidence to prove the lockdown would be effective. However, facts and practice have proved that under the strong leadership of CPC, with Xi Jinping as its core, China adopted the most thorough, rigorous and comprehensive prevention and control measures. As a result, the epidemic was controlled in around two months, and its spread to the rest of the world was slowed.
In the fight against the epidemic, Hubei province and Wuhan city enforced large-scale investigations, quarantine and isolation, as well as medical treatment in accordance with the policy of ensuring that all those in need should be tested, isolated, hospitalized or treated. The medical resources were mobilized across the country, two treatment centres with 2,500 beds were constructed and put into use within two weeks, and more than 40,000 medical workers rushed to Hubei and Wuhan to support the fight. Soon the “beds waiting for patients” were achieved and lives were saved at all cost.
With the joint efforts of the Chinese people, on March 18, for the first time, no new domestic cases were confirmed on the mainland. On April 8, Wuhan lifted its 76-day lockdown. In the following months, the Chinese government has continued to consolidate the gains in virus control following the principle of “preventing the coronavirus from re-entering the country to cause a new epidemic”. Currently, only sporadic imported cases were reported and the epidemic control has entered a “new normal”.
- Achieve economic recovery and win the battle against poverty.
Under the impact of the epidemic, China’s GDP growth rate in the first quarter of 2020 was -6.8 per cent, which was the first negative growth since the introduction of quarterly statistics in 1992. With the resumption of work and production in various provinces, China’s economy has recovered rapidly. The GDP in the second quarter increased by 3.2 per cent over the same period last year. At the end of July, the World Bank raised China’s 2020 economic growth target from 1 per cent to 1.6 per cent. China continues to be the largest contributor to global economic growth.
In terms of macro-economic policy, China stands to advance the stability on the six fronts and security in the six areas, which means to keep stable on employment, the financial sector, foreign trade, foreign investment, domestic investment and expectations, and to ensure security in job, basic living needs, operations of market entities, food and energy security, stable industrial and supply chains, and the normal functioning of primary-level governments. Consequently, the restoration of normal production and everyday life has been quickened.
The year 2020 marks the final year for China to achieve the goal of eliminating poverty and building a moderately prosperous society. The General Secretary of CPC Xi Jinping has pointed out that when defining a moderately prosperous society, the key is to observe the condition of farmers. To lift out of poverty all rural residents living below the current poverty line by 2020, and to bring to an end the extreme poverty that has shackled the Chinese nation for millennia, will tangibly change the lives of hundreds of millions of people. It also means that China will meet ten years ahead of schedule the poverty eradication target set out in the United Nations’ 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development, and is of great significance to China and the world.
Over the past 71 years since the founding of the People’s Republic of China, more than 800 million people have been lifted out of poverty. Since 2012, the annual poverty reduction population has exceeded 10 million, contributing over 70 per cent of global poverty reduction efforts. China’s poverty elimination plans and achievements are widely recognized by the international community. It fully reflects CPC’s people-centred approach, and demonstrates the political advantages of the Chinese socialist system, which can concentrate efforts on major initiatives. UN Secretary-General António Guterres has said: "Targeted poverty reduction strategies are the only way to reach those farthest behind and achieve the ambitious targets set out in the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development. China has lifted hundreds of millions of people out of poverty, and its experiences can provide valuable lessons to other developing countries."
III. Win-win cooperation and building a community of shared future for mankind.
COVID-19 reminds us that we are living in an interconnected global village, and risks respect no borders. Facing the unprecedented attack of the coronavirus, China has shared with other countries our control and clinical experience without reservation, and do what we can to provide aid in support of the international community's endeavours to stem the pandemic. China twice donated funds to the WHO totalling 50 million US dollars and sent 34 medical expert teams to 32 countries. China offered 283 batches of anti-epidemic material assistance to 150 countries and 4 international organizations, and provided epidemic prevention goods to more than 200 countries and regions. Between March 15 and September 6, China exported 151.5 billion masks, 1.4 billion protective suits, 230 million goggles, 209,000 ventilators, 470 million test kits and 80.14 million infrared thermometers to support the global fight against COVID-19. In the post-pandemic era, China will continue to promote international cooperation in epidemic prevention and control, firmly supports the WHO in playing the leading role in this global battle, and contributes to building a global community of health for all.
This year also marks the 75th anniversary of the founding of the United Nations. The 75th session of the UN General Assembly opened this month. Chinese President Xi Jinping delivered important speeches at the high-level meeting and the general debate. He stressed that China was the first to sign on the Charter of the United Nations. It is a founding member of the UN and the only developing country that takes a permanent seat on the Security Council. China will continue to be a true follower of multilateralism, and work as a builder of global peace, a contributor to global development and a defender of international order. China is the largest developing country in the world, a country that is committed to peaceful, open, cooperative and common development.
All countries, big or small, are equal members of the international community. To tackle risks and challenges, global affairs should be discussed by all members, governance systems built by all, and benefits of governance shared by all, so that every country can benefit from peace and development. The world now stands at a new historical starting point. We should work together to build a new type of international relations and a community with a shared future for mankind. Together, we can make the world a better place for everyone.
Li Yigang is Consul General of the People’s Republic of China in Willemstad
Dear Editor,
“I’ve always loved you and when you love someone you love the whole person just as he or she is and not as you would like them to be,” Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina.
Jesus Christ, whose sermon on the mount Tolstoy tried his entire life to emulate morally and spiritually but never succeeded, resulted in Tolstoy being diagnosed with “moral exhaustion” in his final days. Christ, in reference to an adulterous woman who was brought before him, said to his followers, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” Convicted by their own conscience and personal guilt they all went their separate ways.
The capacity to forgive and the ability to understand our own foibles and human nature is at the core of being able to love others unconditionally. The failures and weaknesses of others are, really, a reflection of who we are collectively as a species. If two individuals truly and sincerely love each other, should an act of infidelity or several acts for that matter become a criterion for ending their contractual agreement of “’tll death do us part”?
Love is an all-encompassing force and does not require the presence or absence of certain conditions for its expression and transmission. The law of loving others cannot be discovered by reason because it is unreasonable.
The disapprobation of infidelity and its accompanying distastes are a social construct and convention conceptualized with a suspicious air of power and control. It contradicts our biological nature and no amount of intellectualizing, moralizing or theologizing can prove or disprove whether promiscuous polygamy rather than faithful monogamy is the norm of human sexual behavior.
Public reproach and scorn for infidelity is a cultural phenomenon whose prevalence is perpetuated and sustained in societies and cultures that use theology as a basis of ethics. Its disapproval and opposition to its practice inhibits the fulfillment of harmless impulsive desires. Irrational resistance to infidelity removes human agency from those who are unable to be themselves, those who lack the courage to be perfect in their own imperfections, the courage that is reminiscent of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s dignified fictional character Hester Prynne proudly displaying the letter A around her neck marking her as an adulteress, a grim and stark reminder of 18th century puritanism and Victorian sexual attitudes.
Marriage has not and will not succeed in curing or taming our powerful instinctual desires and religious, ethical or moral training will never prove enough to help us eject aspects of ourselves we were conditioned to turn on and dislike. As Nietzsche said, affirm life, welcome life in all its complexities and forms of human representation. It is utterly absurd and preposterous to reject what until now is considered a normal form of human behavior. How can we say with any degree of certainty that we weren’t biologically determined to be sexually debauched creatures and therefore lack inherent self-control to render our instinctual desires subservient to a legal monogamous marriage contract?
Infidelity in marriages doesn’t necessarily have to have as its primary motivation an unfulfilled or curious sexual appetite as there could be other underlying needs that enable sexual encounters outside of marriage. Sex could very well be the secondary effect of some other primary cause. It is quite understandable that in a society where sex is overrated and often placed on a pedestal, it can have the negative effect of overshadowing the principal causes of infidelity in marriages. Our biological nature and social needs are so complex and vast that the totality of our desires and wants has hitherto remain largely unknown to us. So, as we continue to evolve, we will inevitably be attracted and drawn to others for reasons we cannot explain, or which simply defy logic.
Marriages that enjoy the above often have a higher threshold of tolerance for unwanted extramarital experiences, which then helps to create space for forgiveness, growth and maturity. Zero tolerance, public condemnation and religious renunciation for infidelity can negatively influence the blossoming of healthy marital relationships, effectively causing marriages to remain stuck without the possibility for reconciliation. And besides, when does one become guilty of infidelity? Does it occur at the level of thought? Or does it become a reality when there is bodily entanglement. What’s the ultimate human value, is it the immaterial mind or soul or rather our material embodiment (body)?
Orlando Patterson
Dear Editor,
With interest I read your article on the Supreme Court judgment in the Alegria timeshare case, in which Lexwell represents the timeshare owners (in the Supreme Court appeal assisted by Bart van der Wiel, as correctly mentioned in your article):
https://www.thedailyherald.sx/index.php/islands/timeshare-case-referred-back-to-court-of-appeals-for-re-judgment. In reading your synopsis, especially when coupled with HBN’s press release that you quote at the end of the article, we believe an important part of the judgment remains unmentioned. After the following two paragraphs, the Supreme Court’s (important) conclusion and final decision is missing:
In its judgment, the Supreme Court ruled that the rights and obligations of the former lessor in the lease agreements between Endless Vacation and the timeshare owners have not passed to Alegría under Article 7:226 of the Civil Code. “After all, it was the bank as creditor and not Endless Vacation as landlord who transferred the business rights on the rented property to Alegría,” the High Court stated.
The Supreme Court also found insufficient grounds to anticipate the workings of the draft Timeshare Ordinance. “Where the draft Timeshare Ordinance provides a rule that protects the timeshare taker, regardless of whether the selling or transferring party is the contracting party of the timeshare taker, this deviates strongly from the applicable law, while it is also unclear whether, and if so when, the Timeshare Ordinance will be established and come into effect,” the High Court stated.
We believe an additional paragraph, along the following lines, would complete the synopsis:
The Supreme Court furthermore ruled that Alegria may be obligated to comply with the former lessor’s obligations based on tort or good faith, if the specific, extraordinary circumstances warrant so. The Court of Appeals had ruled that such extraordinary circumstances did exist, however, did not sufficiently motivate that decision, according to the Supreme Court. The Court’s decision only relied on the fact that Alegria was aware of the timeshare agreements when it purchased the resort at the auction, which is insufficient to carry its conclusion. The Supreme Court adds that there may be other circumstances that can carry that conclusion and, therefore, refers the matter back to the Court of Appeals for a new ruling on this matter. Thus, a final outcome of the case is still to be awaited.
This is in essence what the Supreme Court considers in paragraph 3.8 of its judgment and what HBN (conveniently) leaves out in its press release.
Femke Jansen
Lexwell Attorneys at Law
