Dear Queenie,
Since my son got married I have hardly ever heard from him and his wife, although they are very close to her family. Now they are expecting their first child, my first grandchild, and they haven’t included me in anything to do with all that, like baby showers or setting up a room for the baby.
Queenie, I’m afraid I will never get to know my grandchild. Is there anything I can do about all this?—Worried grandmother-to-be
Dear Grandmother-to-be,
Talk to your son about all this. It could be that he tries to avoid arguing with his wife, especially while she is pregnant. Hopefully, things will get better after the baby is born.
Dear Queenie,
I volunteer with a community service group that holds an appreciation event for its volunteers every year. They sell us raffle tickets for some great prizes.
This year a bunch of local politicians who hold public office also attended and some of them won prizes in the raffle.
Queenie, don’t you think those prizes should have gone to some of the volunteers?—Disgusted volunteer
Dear Volunteer,
The group you volunteer for was trying to raise money to fund its work and anyone who paid for a raffle ticket was entitled to do whatever they wanted with any prize they were lucky enough to win.
It would have been nice of the winners who were not volunteers to donate their prizes back to the organisation or to the volunteers, but they had paid for their raffle tickets like everyone else and had every right to keep any prizes they won.
Dear Queenie,
I like to watch TV with my wife, but lots of the time she is tired from a long day’s work and falls asleep.
Queenie, is there any etiquette rule about this kind of thing?—TV Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
There is no rule about this, and as long as the sleeper doesn’t snore and disturb the one who is awake I do not see any problem. You can go on watching, or turn the TV off, tuck the sleeper in, and go do something else.
Dear Queenie,
When I lost my job I had to move back in with my parents. I have 2 grownup brothers who also live there. One is living there too and the other is a drug addict and they both depend on our parents for everything, but our parents treat them like they are perfect angels.
My problem is that both brothers pick on me and give me a hard time because I asked my parents for help and our parents don’t even try to stop them, in fact sometimes my parents seem to agree with them.
Queenie, how can I defend myself?—Youngest son
Dear Son,
Your brothers pick on you because it makes them feel better about themselves and your parents go along with it because they expect you will soon be doing better and moving out, while they will still have to deal with your older brothers.
Pay no attention to your brothers, ask your parents to treat you at least a little better, and try to arrange to move out as soon as possible.
Dear Queenie,
A few years ago, after we were married for many years, my wife found out I was cheating on her even though we had sex very often, and we separated. I went to counselling and found out I was a sex addict. I went to counselling for that and got other help and managed to change my ways. Then I lost my job and my wife (we were still separated, but not divorced) let me move back in with her but in a separate bedroom.
Now we live together and go to counselling together, and go out together and cuddle up while we watch TV and sometimes even sleep together, but my wife still doesn’t want to ever have sex with me again.
Queenie, can we make our marriage work if there is no sex?—Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
It is possible, but it will take a lot of work from both of you. This is a question that should be addressed during your counselling sessions. There is hope, as you both have already made a lot of progress in dealing with your problems.
