Dear Queenie,

I find it unfair the way girls treat themselves, act and are treated by males. Most girls feel they have to live up to the standards of being “Flirty,” a “Diva” or any of the many labels/tags given to any teenager.

Sure, if that’s really who they are, by all means go ahead, but it doesn’t really go like that during this generation. Females wear short skirts, skimpy tops, etc., etc., just to appeal to guys.

Many of my friends who are just as pretty as the next girl wear clothes that don’t reflect their inner selves. Other than these labels/tags, teens believe they are cooler when they call themselves or others words with profanity or curse words, such as b----.

Males have a hand in this too. Guys talking about how girls look is just fine, but when it comes to them asking for a “hot chick” or “babes” it really pushes a female to want to achieve the standards guys are looking for.

Queenie, why must teens (and adults) change themselves just to be liked or have people accept them?—Female without a label

Dear Female without a label,

They don’t have to do this.

However, most teens and many adults are so uncertain about who they are and what kind of person they want to be that they frantically try to be and do what they think other people expect of them, instead of having the self-confidence to say to themselves and the rest of the world, “This is who and what I am. If you can’t accept me as I am, that’s your problem and your loss.”

Also, many teens, both girls and boys, will experiment with a number of styles and standards before they find out what suits them best.

As for the profanity and curse words, many well-brought-up children think it makes them seem more grown up to use “grown-up” language. And, sad to say, all too many children these days have been set a bad example by their elders and do not understand that using such language only makes them seem ignorant and boorish, not “grown up” at all.

Dear Queenie,

I would like to have a boyfriend, but I am not the least bit interested in anyone from St. Maarten. These guys are just plain rude, selfish, only for the sex, and not at all educated about love or manners in love.

I hate it when guys call out to me on the street, acting like horny dogs … well, that’s an insult to the dogs. I hate the way they whistle when I pass, the way they look at every female in their area, the way they “pssssst” when you pass, all of it. I also don’t believe in long-distance relationships.

Queenie, what can I do now? Am I being too picky?—Confused

Dear Confused,

I don’t think you are being too picky. You are just looking for a boyfriend in the wrong places.

The kind of man you want won’t be hanging around a street corner or a bar. He will be working at a professional job or furthering his education, or both. He will be a member of a service club, a church and/or some other community group.

He may very well be already spoken for. The good ones usually are. And in that case he is off limits for you, but of course if he is everything you are looking for and he is taken, he won’t be interested in you.

Nevertheless, don’t stop looking. Just be more picky about where you look.

You might also give some thought to the way you dress and carry yourself, if you attract so much attention from the kind of men you describe. The man you are looking for is also picky.

Dear Queenie,

I was with this guy for a year and some months. I love him a lot and I know he has feelings for me. During our relationship I found out that he had gotten his ex- girlfriend pregnant. I didn’t know what to do. All I could do was just cry and cry.

When our relationship ended I couldn’t seem to trust any man again. Any guy that asks me to go out, I turn them down even though they’re the good ones.

There is this guy I like and I know he likes me too because he has been troubling me almost my whole life and keeps saying that he really likes me. I really like him and I know that he would not do anything bad, because I have been hearing that he is not that type of a person.

I want to tell him “yes,” but I still don’t have any trust in any guy after my recent relationship. But I really don’t want to disappoint him. I really want a future with this guy.

Queenie, what should I do?—Confused girl

Dear Confused girl,

Level with him. Tell him you are still getting over a bad relationship and are not ready to get serious about anyone yet, but if he is willing to accept those terms you would like to go out with him. Give him a chance to persuade you that he is not like that other guy.

You can go out with a guy without getting serious about him, you know. And when you are ready, when you have recovered from your previous disappointment, you won’t have to ask me what you should do. You will know.

Dear Queenie,

I have pets, a dog and a cat. My daughter recently married a man with children from a previous marriage and the children are both allergic to animals.

I visit my new grandchildren every day at their house and I love them very much, but they can’t come to my house because of the allergies.

Now my daughter and her husband are pressuring me to get rid of my pets so that the kids can stay with me sometimes when they want to go out. They say if I don’t it means I am putting animals in front of people.

Queenie, do you agree?—Step-grandmother

Dear Step-grandmother,

No, I do not agree with your daughter. As you visit the children every day at their home, there is no real reason for them to come to your house. When your daughter wants you to baby-sit, you can do so at her house, so where’s the problem?

If she is so set on having the children visit your home, she should take them to a doctor and see if their allergies cannot be treated and/or controlled, at least temporarily, so they can do so. After all, yours are not the only animals they will come in contact with in their daily lives.

It is also possible, especially if they are very young, that they will eventually outgrow their allergies.

You shouldn’t have to choose between the animals and the children unless/until it becomes absolutely necessary.