Dear Queenie,
I go to school every day and I supposedly have friends there. Yesterday they acted stupid with me again. They were talking behind my back again.
They even sent my best friend that I have known since I was small to lie to me and say they were talking about a club I was in. I got really mad because that wasn’t it. It was about some sort of dance. They asked people who aren’t their close friends to create a dance with them.
Then I called one of the so-called friends. She told me to call her when I’m not angry at her, and I wasn’t. I just wanted to apologize for getting angry because she was only paying attention to another so-called friend of mine. So I just left without a goodbye.
Am I sounding dramatic, spoiled, or jealous? I don’t think so, because I’ve spilled too many tears for them.
Queenie, do you think you can help me?— Misfortunate to Friends
Dear Misfortunate to Friends,
Let’s take a look at what you have said. You became angry with a friend because she was paying too much attention to another friend. That seems like jealousy to me.
You refer to your friends as “so-called” friends because they tell you they don’t like your angry, jealous behaviour. You become even angrier if they avoid you when you are angry. Then you weep because of the way they treat you. Yes, “dramatic” and “spoiled” would seem to apply.
How would you like it if someone treated you the way you describe treating the people you say are your friends? If you want to have friends, you have to be a friend, but your behaviour doesn’t seem very friendly. No wonder they try to avoid you and leave you out of their activities.
I suggest you try to modify your behaviour. Learn to control your jealousy and anger. Learn to understand that you are not your friends’ only friend, or the most important person in their lives. Learn to respect their feelings. Learn to treat them with respect. You will be a better person for it.
