Dear Queenie,
I have been married for 10 years and all that time my husband has had other women too. If I complain, he says if I don’t like it I can leave, but we have 4 children under 10 years old and I only have a part-time job and I don’t have any family here to go to.
Now he brought home an STD from one of his outside women and he gave it to me and I can only guess when he’ll bring home AIDS! I can’t go to Safe Haven because he doesn’t beat me up.
Queenie, I don’t have any money to leave him. What can I do?—Desperate
Dear Desperate,
First, go to a doctor at once to be treated for the STD and tested for AIDS.
Next, make a list of all of his assets: house, car, furniture, bank accounts, everything. If (when) you leave him, he will still be responsible for supporting his children and your lawyer will need this information.
Then call the Women’s Desk and/or Safe Haven’s hotline. Even if Safe Haven won’t take you in, they can help you make plans to get away from this abusive man.
There are other kinds of abuse besides physical (beating you). Making a woman live in constant fear of being infected with a fatal disease certainly should qualify as mental and emotional abuse.
