Dear Queenie,
A long time ago there was a woman I used to pay to have sex with. Recently this woman got a job at the place where I work. We get along alright but it’s difficult when we see each other alone somewhere, like in an elevator or an otherwise empty hallway.
Queenie, should I find a way to let her know I have never said anything to anyone about what we used to do?—Worried
Dear Worried,
Just leave the past in the past. If she is worried about what you might say about her, eventually she will understand that you have not talked about your past with her and will not do so, and she will stop worrying.
Dear Queenie,
I’ve been divorced from my ex-wife for a long time but I was close to her family and have kept in touch with them. Recently her sister and I have been seeing each other and we are getting really close.
Queenie, is this wrong?—Mixed-up ex-girlfriend
Dear (Ex)-girlfriend,
Your ex-wife may cause some complications, but if you can deal with them there is nothing wrong with getting close to her sister.
Dear Queenie,
When I looked at my boyfriend’s cell phone I found out that he had been cheating on me even though he had asked me to marry him and I thought I was the only woman in his life.
Queenie, I’m going to stop seeing him, but should I tell him why and how I found out about it?—Disgusted girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Just break up with him without giving any reason, unless he asks why you are doing it, in which case tell him and expect him to try to make you feel guilty for snooping, but do not let him change your mind. And be glad you found out now, and not after you had made a formal commitment to him.
Dear Queenie,
My husband’s grown-up son and his girlfriend live in a house my husband owns. They do not pay rent or any other bills and the son even got angry with us for selling our old car when we bought a new one and didn’t give the old car to them.
Queenie, if my husband dies what happens to the house? I will need the money I could get for renting it out—Concerned wife
Dear Wife,
Consult an attorney for legal advice on having things arranged so that you are protected.
And try to make your husband understand that someday his son will have to fend for himself and he is doing his son no favour by protecting him from that fact.
Dear Queenie,
You have written some columns with letters from women who were being abused by their boyfriends or husbands but you have never had anything about men who are abused by the women in their lives – girlfriend, wife or even their mother.
My son is dating a woman who has actually hit him hard enough to make him bleed.
Queenie, what do you have to say about that?—Worried mother
Dear Mother,
Men have access to the same resources as women.
If a man is injured he can go to a hospital emergency room or doctor’s clinic for treatment, explain the cause of his injuries and report them to the appropriate authorities, and actually file criminal charges against his abuser if the injuries are serious enough.
But he should not just accept that kind of treatment any more than a woman should.
