Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I are talking about getting married, but there’s something that really bothers me. I don’t think his mother likes me very much.
She pretends she does, but she always manages to slip in some nasty little dig about my clothes or my hair or my cooking or something. I’ve told my boyfriend about it and pointed out what she does and he agrees with me that it’s not very nice, but he won’t tell her to stop doing it.
I love my boyfriend, but I’m not sure I can put up with his mother for the rest of my life.
Queenie, what do you suggest?—Hurt feelings
Dear Hurt feelings,
What hurts you more, the way your boyfriend’s mother speaks to you or the fact that he doesn’t stand up for you?
I assure you, if he doesn’t stand up for you now, he won’t do so after you are married, so you will have to learn either to stand up for yourself or to put up with all the nasty little digs.
Your best response to the mother is to simply say, “I’m sorry you don’t like it (whatever it may be),” and change the subject. Do not let yourself be drawn into any kind of conversation about whatever it is she doesn’t like. Just change the subject. And don’t get upset about it, or if you do, don’t let her see she has hurt your feelings.
But if you can’t either stand up to her or put up with her, you had better think twice about marrying this mama’s little boy.
Dear Queenie,
I have been with a guy for four years. We have had lots of fun together but now I’m pregnant. He doesn’t want to keep the baby but I do.
It’s hard to go through it alone but I am feeling that I might have to since he doesn’t want kids right now and I feel that abortion is not an option because of the way I was brought up.
I have spoken to other people about it and they told me to keep the baby and he will come around, but I don’t think he will. We both have good jobs, our own cars and place to live.
Queenie, what’s wrong with him?—Sad Girlfriend
Dear Sad Girlfriend,
Like many immature young men, your boyfriend apparently only wants to have fun, but not the responsibilities that may come with it.
I would never advise a woman to have an abortion; that must be the individual woman’s decision.
However, I cannot encourage you to believe that your boyfriend will “come around”, although I hope for your sake he does.
And in future, I hope you will be more careful and practise safe sex. You could catch more than a baby from having unprotected sex.
Dear Queenie,
I am a 16-year-old boy attending one of the secondary schools on St. Maarten. My problem is with the driver of a school bus. This woman is so rude to the children. She has a reputation of throwing people off her bus, for no reason!
I asked a few of the other bus drivers about this and they said that if a child isn’t fighting, making trouble with anybody or being rude to the bus driver the driver has no right to kick them off. But she kicks you off just because she doesn’t want you on her bus or she thinks that you don’t like her for some reason.
Queenie, do you find this is right? I think she should be reported because she is running a bus for the government, not herself, so how can she kick anyone off for no reason? A bus driver running a bus for school is supposed to take any schoolchild on her bus. She can’t pick and choose who she wants on her bus.
I think she is very wrong. I would love to report her but I know word gets around quickly where it came from and it will only make things difficult for me. I wrote this letter to you to see what you think about it and to make it known what she does.
Please tell me what you think should be done, Queenie.—Aggravated Student
Dear Aggravated Student,
If what you are saying is correct, of course the bus driver should be reported.
Talk the matter over with your parents. Perhaps they will then take it up with the school authorities. In any event, let them do the reporting. The authorities will pay more attention to an adult’s complaint.
Dear Queenie,
My friend and I are not really on good terms. We use to hang and chill together, but couple of things happened which I truly apologized for. Now she has no time for me and I don’t really see why.
I have a feeling she is trying to get a boyfriend (I don’t know for sure) and I just feel left out because I don’t have a boyfriend. So we don’t hang out anymore, we hardly talk and she doesn’t call. If I call, the conversation is forced.
I don’t know what I did wrong; she doesn’t say anything, but I really miss her. She should not dump her once close friend because she has interest in guys now, right? Even though I have new friends, I still feel sad.
Queenie, what would you advise me?—She took her “love” away
Dear She took,
Sometimes saying you’re sorry just isn’t enough. Apparently your apology was not sufficient to mend your friend’s hurt feelings. Try to talk this over with her to find out why she is still angry and what else, if anything, you can do to make amends.
If you are lucky, and patient, perhaps time will heal her emotional wounds. If not, I hope you have learned a lesson.
I would advise you to be more tactful and considerate in the future.
Dear Queenie,
I am a young girl. I have a big problem. Yesterday my boyfriend and I were having sex without a condom and he break in me. For me it’s going to cause a lot of problems with my parents if they have to find out that I am plug!
How should I know if I am plug? That’s when I get my period. This is the first time it’s happening to me. What should I do? I don’t want to tell my parents anything or else they will flip. You know how parents are.
Please, Queenie, help me out as soon as possible. I need your information if you can help me out!—Problem child
Dear Problem child,
I suggest you stop having sex with your boyfriend, with or without a condom, and start concentrating on your schoolwork. Your letter was nearly incomprehensible and I can only hope I have interpreted your meaning correctly.
I hope you have learned a lesson about having unprotected sex. Being “plug” is the least of your worries. You also should be concerned about having caught an STD, possibly even HIV.
As for your parents, you will have to tell them sooner or later, especially if you are pregnant or have caught an STD. You should have thought about their feelings before you started doing something you knew they would disapprove of. That is another reason for you to stop what you have been doing and start doing what you should.
