Dear Queenie,
My sons are growing up and it is time someone told them the facts of life, but their father is no use. He told them they shouldn’t “do it” until they were married because they would burn in hell if they did, and left it at that.
Queenie, I know this isn’t enough, but what should I do?—Worried mother
Dear Worried mother,
Tell your husband that what he has told them is far from being enough, and that if he doesn’t give them all the information a teenager needs in this day and age, you will. Then, if he still doesn’t have that talk with them, you should do it.
It is possible that your husband is too uninformed or too embarrassed to do the job properly, so sit down with him and talk over exactly what he should be telling the boys.
They need to know how a girl does and doesn’t get pregnant, what safe sex is and why it is so important, what their responsibilities are in such matters, how to use a condom correctly (it is amazing how many grown men and women don’t know this), and the truth about such myths as “you can’t get pregnant the first time, or if you do it standing up, or right before or after the girl’s period, or if the girl takes a pill the next day, etc., etc.”
If you are not sure you have the correct information, or if you also are too embarrassed, arrange for your family doctor or some other trusted adult to have this talk with each of them before he becomes sexually active, which means (to be safe) before he reaches puberty.
