Dear Queenie,
I made a new friend at school this year and she invites me to her home a lot. I like going there because her family is so nice.
They eat dinner together and everyone is laughing and chatting and it’s like they are all best friends. I like it a lot, but when I go home I start crying because my family isn’t like that at all.
We never do things together or talk much to each other. We don’t even eat together. We just go the kitchen and help ourselves whenever we feel like eating and it’s never all at the same time. Sometimes two of us will eat at the same time, but it’s not like we’re together because we don’t talk to each other or anything, we just eat our food and go.
I tried to talk to my mother about this, but she was too busy to listen.
Queenie, how can I get my family act more like my friend’s family?—Sad all the time
Dear Sad all the time,
You can’t solve your family’s problems all by yourself. In fact, you can’t solve the others’ problems at all, so concentrate on your own.
Keep trying to talk to your mother. If you still can’t get her to listen to you, go to a teacher you trust or to your school counsellor and ask for help. Maybe if they intervene, they can make your mother understand that you seriously need her attention. If not, they can help you get counselling to learn to cope with your problems without her help.
You could also join a girls’ group like the Girls Brigade, Girl Scouts, Pathfinders, sports team or whatever to develop some outside interests and maybe find a female mentor who will give you the guidance you need. Your teacher or school counsellor could help you find the right group.
And keep up your relationship with your new friend. Even if your family is not all you would like it to be, you can learn from hers to be a better parent than yours are, and when you have children you can lead them in the right direction.
