Dear Queenie,
My father sent my daughter a gift for her birthday that arrived about a week before the day. A couple of days before the birthday he called to ask if it had arrived and how she had liked it. We hadn’t opened the package yet, we were waiting for the actual day, so we didn’t know yet what the gift was and we didn’t know what to tell him.
Queenie, did we do something wrong?—Gift Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
As soon as the gift arrived you should have let your father know that you had received his package and were waiting for the actual birthday to open it.
Then, as soon as possible after her birthday, your daughter should have called to thank him or sent him a thank-you note.
Dear Queenie,
I’m retired and living on my pension. I don’t have any savings and I just barely get by.
My birthday is coming and my sister and her family, who are very well-off financially, have invited me to their house to celebrate and I know they will have gifts for me, but I am embarrassed to go because I can’t afford to do anything for them on their birthdays.
Queenie, what can I do?—Not-so-well-off sister
Dear Sister,
Accept their invitation! Your presence will be a gift.
Also, if you have any kind of a talent, sharing it with them would be a gift. Furthermore, you can give them help around their home and babysit if they have young children.
Dear Queenie,
I have 2 children, a boy who is crippled and can’t walk and a girl who tells lies and stole money from my wife’s (her mother’s) purse, is mean to her crippled brother and has gotten in trouble at school many times.
She knows what she does is wrong, but she still does it.
Queenie, what more can we do about her?—Worried parents
Dear Parents,
The way your daughter behaves may be related to the fact that her crippled brother gets more of her parents’ attention than she does. She may have serious emotional problems and you should take her to to a mental health professional who can evaluate her and help you understand what her problems are and help you learn how to deal with them.
Dear Queenie,
I sent my fiance some nude pictures of myself and somehow a friend of his got them too and threatened to show them to everyone unless I did whatever he wanted (you know what I mean!).
Queenie, what can I do?—I’m sorry now!
Dear Sorry now,
Now you know why it is not a good idea to take nude pictures, let alone send them to anyone!
What this “friend” is doing is blackmail, which is a crime if it can be proven. Consult a lawyer for legal advice on how to handle this situation.
Dear Queenie,
My parents are very religious. They took me to church every Sunday and they always say grace before every meal and say prayers when they go to bed and whenever they have to make a decision they pray first for guidance.
However, I don’t feel as religious as they are and when I tried to tell them about it they were very upset and then they told me I was just going through a phase and I would get over it, but I’m not getting over it.
Queenie, how can I get them to understand that I’m not as religious as they are and this is just who I am, and if I can’t get them to accept this as a fact, where can I get some support?—Agnostic son
Dear Son,
Thank your parents for the job they have done in raising you and tell them you hope they will continue to love you even though you are not as devout as they are.
Then seek professional counselling. It is possible that your family’s pastor can recommend someone who will counsel you without subjecting you to religious persuasion. If that is not the case, ask your family doctor to recommend a non-religious counsellor.
