Dear Queenie,
I have been married for many years to a good man who works hard and provides for his family very well.
I work too. I have a good job that pays well, and when I go home I take care of the house and our three children, but at the end of the day I am exhausted and all I want is to get a good night’s sleep, but that’s when my husband comes to me wanting to have sex and it’s all I can do to manage to accommodate him and then he complains because I’m not exciting enough.
Queenie, how can I make him understand?—Exhausted wife
Dear Wife,
Sex in marriage should be like the frosting on a cake, which makes a good thing even better. But frosting without cake, while sweet, is not really very satisfying.
You and your husband should try to find a way to satisfy his desires without exhausting you. Perhaps he could help you more around the house and with the children. If he is a little more tired at the end of the day, he might be a little less interested in the “frosting” and if you are a little less exhausted you might be a little more interested in it.
Show him this column and see how he reacts.
Dear Queenie,
My sister is turning 50 and is going to hold a big party to celebrate this landmark birthday. However, she lives on another island and most of the family will have to travel if they want to be there. That means we will have to pay travel and hotel costs. But the way she is planning the party, there won’t be any food, so we will have to buy our own meals and pay for the drinks at the party.
Queenie, what is your opinion about all this?—Younger sister
Dear Younger sister,
I have to wonder about the phrase “hold a big party”. Usually the person who “holds” a party is considered the host and is expected provide and pay for any food and drinks served at the event. What kind of party is it going to be with no food, and drinks you have to pay for?
It could be that your sister has limited finances and this is the only way she can afford to celebrate her landmark birthday. If her feelings would be hurt if you were not there, please attend (assuming you can afford to do so).
Dear Queenie,
My older brother is having problems remembering things. Either he doesn’t remember something or he thinks something that happened to someone he knows actually happened to him. He also doesn’t remember things he said that were very rude and when we try to talk to him about it he insists he would never say such a thing.
Queenie, is there something we can do about this or should we just try to ignore it?—Worried sibling
Dear Sibling,
Depending on how old your brother is, this could be an age-related problem. Whatever the cause, he should have a complete physical check-up. And if you think he might not (remember to) mention all this to the doctor, try to go with him for the check-up so you can tell the doctor whatever your brother forgets(?) to mention.
Dear Queenie,
My husband got divorced may years ago and because his ex-wife got sick their 1-year-old daughter went into the custody of his aunt and uncle and she is still with them and she calls them “Mom”and “Dad”.
She sees her mother and father (my husband) quite often and gets along well with our children (her half-brothers and -sisters). Sometimes she talks about living with us if anything happens to her “Mom” and “Dad” because they are not in very good health.
Queenie, should we try to get custody of her?—Stepmother
Dear Stepmother,
Have your stepdaughter visit you as often as possible and even stay overnight sometimes, but do not take her away from the people who have raised her unless they become unable to take proper care of her.
Dear Queenie,
I just found out that my boyfriend got some sexy photos from some other girl. I don’t do things like that.
Queenie, what should I do?—Angry girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
If you have no other problems with your boyfriend do not make an issue of this. After all, no matter what that other girl did, he is still with you. But if he asks you for similar photos of yourself, do not do it if you do not want to, because because you will not gain anything and could lose a lot of privacy.
