Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I are very much in love. We have a lot of the same interests and values except for one thing – I want children and he does not.
If we stay together I will never have children, but if I break up with him I might never find anyone as perfect for me as he is who does want children.
Queenie, please help me decide what to do.—Can’t make a decision
Dear Can’t decide,
I cannot tell you what you should do, but I must point out that there are a lot of things you have to consider here. If you had married this man and only then found out he did not want children, would you have divorced him?
And, the older you get the harder it is to conceive a child. If you break up with him it may take you quite a while to find someone you think is as perfect as your present boyfriend – if you ever do – and who wants children. And even if that comes to pass, there is no guarantee that you will be able to conceive.
But beyond pointing out these factors, I cannot tell you what to do. You will have to make that decision yourself.
Dear Queenie,
My ex-spouse and I are still on good terms. We just sort of grew apart after our children were grown up and moved out on their own. We all still get together on birthdays and holidays.
Queenie, what is a good kind of gift to give an ex on a special occasion like a birthday or Christmas?—Just wondering
Dear Just wondering,
A gift card from their favourite store would be good, or a donation in their name to their favourite charity or other non-profit organisation.
Dear Queenie,
My wife and I are well-off financially and we each have a nice car. When our children come to visit us they expect us to let them use one of our cars. They are good drivers, but they are not on our insurance, and they are also well-off financially so they can well afford to rent a car.
Queenie, are we being unreasonable?—Reluctant parents
Dear Parents,
No, you are not being unreasonable. It would be illegal for them to be driving your car if your insurance would not cover an accident that occurred while one of them was driving it.
Dear Queenie,
When I was a kid my parents wouldn’t let me have any dessert until I had finished the rest of my meal. Now I like to eat my dessert first and then the rest of the food.
I never do this when I am a guest in someone else’s home, but I do it when I go out to eat with friends if it is at a restaurant that will let you order dessert along with all the other food. However, some of my friends think I am being rude.
Queenie, are they right?—Picky eater
Dear Picky eater,
If you know that your friends are being bothered by your eating habit, yes, you are being rude. But if it does not bother them, you have no problem.
Dear Queenie,
My mother-in-law lives near us and has a car, so she drives our children to and from school every day while I stay home and take care of the house.
However, every day when she brings them home she comes in and stays to visit. I have a lot to do and I don’t feel like sitting and chatting with her about the same old stuff for a couple of hours every day.
Queenie, I am pleased to be on such good terms with her, but how do I politely ask her not to come inside every day?—Busy mother
Dear Mother,
Perhaps you could arrange to go out and run errands while your mother-in-law is there to “babysit” for you, or to help your children with their homework while she is there. You could also ask her to help you with some of your housework.
Then, to make her feel welcome, try to arrange for her to come to visit at a time when her son/your husband is there also.
