Dear Queenie,
I drive to work every morning and I give a co-worker a ride too because she doesn’t have a car, but she won’t talk to me while I’m driving. I asked her why and she said it was because one time I just slammed on the brakes and it scared her. I did that to avoid hitting a bike-rider who had swerved in front of me.
Queenie, if she doesn’t like the way I drive, why doesn’t she get another ride?—Fed-up driver
Dear Driver,
Perhaps your co-worker is just trying not to distract you from your driving. Didn’t she ask you (when it happened) why you had slammed on the brakes? Maybe if you explain this to her it will calm her down.
Dear Queenie,
I have a grown-up daughter who still lives with me. When she needs something I take care of it, but she never does anything to help me out. She doesn’t even keep her own room clean and I had to hire someone to clean it out.
Now I am sick and need help, but she just got mad at me and refused.
Queenie, I’m too old for all this. What can I do?—Fed-up mother
Dear Mother,
If your daughter is able to get a job and live on her own, give her a deadline for moving out, or at least insist that she start paying you rent. And do not clean her room for her. Just shut the door so you do not have to see the mess and leave the cleaning up to her.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I do not have a good marriage, but he wants us to have children. Some time ago I got pregnant and then had a miscarriage, and since then I have been taking contraceptives without him knowing it. He keeps saying he wants children and I keep telling him it’s not going to happen.
Queenie, should I explain to him why?—Worried wife
Dear Wife,
What you have been doing, letting him live with the hope of having a child(ren) is not fair to your husband. However, I can understand why you hesitate to tell him the truth.
As usual in a situation like this, I recommend professional counselling to help you decide what to do.
Dear Queenie,
My wife’s brother and his wife never host family get-togethers. They have a nice house and plenty of room, so they could do it, but they don’t. It’s always up to us or their parents.
Queenie, am I expecting too much of them?—Fed-up brother-in-law
Dear Brother-in-law,
You are right, your brother-in-law and his wife should do their share of entertaining family, but it is not going to happen, so you will have to decide what events you will host and leave the rest up to your in-laws.
When you host an event you could ask your brother-in-law and his wife to help out by bringing some food and/or pitching in at your house, but that is as much as you can expect (if even that!).
Dear Queenie,
We have an elderly neighbor who lives alone and comes by almost every day needing some sort of help around her house or a ride to go somewhere.
Queenie, how can we get her to not bother us so often?—Wanting some privacy
Dear Wanting,
Your neighbour seems lonely and probably cannot do the things she asks you to help her with. It is okay to sometimes tell her you are too busy and to ask her to chip in for gas when she needs a ride.
Meanwhile, are there other neighbours or friends of hers who can pitch in to help her?
