Dear Queenie,

I used to have lunch every day with a friend at work, but recently he has been ignoring me and talking to someone else who is known for having lots of “friends”. He says he wants us to still be friends, but he is destroying our friendship.

Queenie, how can I keep on being friends with him?—Worried friend

Dear Friend,

Is your friend aware of his new friend’s reputation? You can mention your concern for him, but then let it go. Apparently he is willing to take a chance on being hurt and if you press the matter you may be the one he ends things with. Maybe it is time you also looked for other friendships.

Dear Queenie,

A friend of mine was badly injured when a man broke into his home and beat him up while he was robbing him. My friend’s only relative is a son who lives far away. I keep in touch with him and he says it’s up to his father to make decisions for himself as long as he can, and my friend’s doctors say he is able to do so.

My friend is still recovering, but he mostly has to stay in bed and he is very depressed. I check on him every day and he hardly eats anything, just wants to stay in bed, smoke and drink rum until he dies. I don’t want to help him die by giving him things like tobacco and liquor, but if I don’t he will just live longer in misery. To get well, he needs stop smoking and drinking, eat good food and get some exercise, and he thinks he just can’t do all that.

Queenie, am I wrong to do for him what he wants?—Worried friend

Dear Friend,

I would say you are being compassionate, but the fact is that no matter what he may say, your friend is committing suicide slowly with all his smoking and drinking. And also, smoking and drinking in bed is risking having a fire.

You cannot force your friend to do what he needs to do to get better, but do your best to persuade him to do it.

Dear Queenie,

All my father-in-law ever talks about is himself. He never asks anyone else how they are feeling or what they have been doing. He doesn’t get along with his wife’s family and never sees them, she goes alone to visit them.

Queenie, if I had realized how things are with her family I never would have married my wife!—Fed-up son-in-law

Dear Son-in-law,

I feel sorry for your father-in-law. Apparently he does not know how to make friends or get people to like him. He must be very unhappy. And I have to wonder why his wife married him.

Dear Queenie,

My wife and I were planning not to have children until we could better afford to give them a good life, but then she got pregnant even though she said it was a safe time of the month.

Queenie, how can I trust her any more?—Angry husband

Dear Husband,

Even if your wife believed it was a “safe time of the month”, that would not have guaranteed that she would not get pregnant. You should have also taken other precautions, just to be on the safe side.