Dear Queenie,
My older sister has a habit of making fun of my clothes and hair styles when I go to visit her. She says they are cheap and ugly.
Queenie, this really makes me feel bad. Should I just stop going to see her?—Annoyed kid sister
Dear Kid Sister,
Have you told your sister how you feel about the things she says? She may not realise how bad she makes you feel.
If talking to her about it helps, all well and good. If not, then yes, try to limit the amount of time you spend with her.
Dear Queenie,
My ex-boyfriend has been my best friend for eight years now. Recently, he entered into a relationship with a girl who looks and acts just like me. Since then, things have been different between us.
Queenie, what do I have to offer him in terms of friendship now that he has found a perfect substitute?—Ex-girlfriend
Dear Ex-girlfriend,
Things often change between friends when one of them enters a new romantic relationship. You will have to ask your ex that question, or just wait and see what happens between him and his new girlfriend, and between the two of you.
Dear Queenie,
I’m 15 and my mother has a new boyfriend that she goes out with a lot and sometimes stays over with him and then I stay with my grandmother.
Queenie, I think it’s too soon for her to be doing that. Is there anything I can do?—Neglected teenager
Dear Teenager,
Your mother is not likely to listen to anything you or I tell her, so talk to your grandmother and ask her to talk to her daughter, your mother, about what she is doing and how you feel about it. Your mother (hopefully) will listen to what her mother tells her.
Dear Queenie,
My son is almost 2 and sometimes his grandmother, my mother, likes to hold him and hug him and shower him with kisses. Sometimes he just accepts this, but other times he whines and squirms and says, “No,” but she just goes on doing it.
I like to hug and kiss my son too, but if he wants me to stop, I do.
Queenie, should I talk to my mother about this?—Concerned mother
Dear Mother,
Yes, talk to your mother. Affection is not “affectionate” if it is not welcome. Try to help her find other ways of showing her affection than forcing her grandson to endure unwanted “attacks”. And, as usual, I suggest that, if necessary, professional counselling might help.
Dear Queenie,
My husband works in an office with a lot of women who flirt with good-looking men like my husband and I’ve noticed recently that he has started making himself look good and wearing very nice clothes when he goes to work and sometimes he mentions that he took a walk or had lunch with one of those women.
Queenie, I’m worried about what might happen or is already going on. Am I wrong to be worried?—Worried wife
Dear Worried wife,
The fact that your husband wants to look good at work is nothing to worry about, but if he starts coming home from work later than before or even “partying” after work you should wonder about it.
Talk to him about this, and if the two of you cannot have an open and honest conversation about it I recommend professional marriage counselling.
