Dear Queenie,
When I go out to eat I often run into someone I know and they ask me to join them. Sometimes that is just great, but sometimes I would rather just have some quiet alone time.
Queenie, how do I politely refuse their offer?—Solitude Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
Just say, “Thanks, but this time I would rather eat alone.” It would not be rude if you do not do it too often.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I have been living together for a couple of months. It was great at first, but she has gotten kind of hard to live with – she nags me a lot and yells at me if I don’t do something she wants or the way she wants it.
Queenie, I want to move out but I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have any family here to help me. What can I do?—Frustrated boyfriend
Dear Boyfriend,
A professional counsellor can help you deal with your girlfriend and the problems she causes, and can refer you to a local organisation(s) that can help you find your own place to live.
Dear Queenie,
When I looked at my wife’s phone I saw some messages she had been sending to and getting from a man she works with that had nothing to do with their work. After I asked her about him she deleted the messages and blocked him from her phone and I forgave her for whatever she had with him.
Queenie, I don’t look at her phone any more, but maybe I should. What do you think?—Worried husband
Dear Husband,
You should be able to trust your wife, and if she were doing anything she should not be doing, she would not leave her phone out where you can look into it.
Dear Queenie,
When my first child was born my husband’s family came to visit right after we got home from the hospital. They stayed with us and instead of helping out, they made extra work for me to do in addition to taking care of the new baby.
Now we are expecting another baby and they want to come again as soon as we get home.
Queenie, how can I get them to wait for a while without offending them?—Expectant mother
Dear Mother,
Your husband should try to convince his parents to wait a while before coming to visit. If that doesn’t work, your baby’s doctor could help by saying they should wait a couple of months until the baby has had the first set of immunizations. This restriction should also apply to your family.
Dear Queenie,
My wife’s sister was staying with us until we found out she was going out with a guy everyone knows is a drug dealer. We talked to her about this and asked her not to see him any more, but she is still going out with him, so we have asked her to leave.
Now my mother-in-law is mad at us and won’t talk to us because she doesn’t believe what we have told her about what my sister-in-law is doing.
Queenie, how can we make her understand why we did what we did? We want our children to see their grandmother.—Sad son-in-law
Dear Son-in-law,
Your mother-in-law does not want to believe what your sister-in-law is doing, so she takes out her vexation on you. Try to get back together with your mother-in-law without talking about what your sister-in-law is doing. Talk to her about what your children are doing and hope she will want to be a part of their lives.
