Dear Queenie,
I have a boyfriend and he has a friend and both of them like me, but one of them is in a lower class than the other and now the one who happens to be in the lower class tells me he has finished school.
Now I don't know who to dump and who to take.
Please help me, Queenie.—Confused
Dear Confused,
There is no reason for you to dump either of them unless one (or both) is demanding an exclusive relationship. It is perfectly okay for a girl to date more than one boy, as long as she hasn’t given her word to “go steady” with anyone.
As you are so uncertain about which one you prefer, I don’t think you are ready to have an exclusive relationship with either of these boys. If one or the other (or both) doesn’t like the idea of your “playing the field,” so be it. A boy who really cares about you will stick around until you make up your mind.
If a boy doesn’t care enough to give you a little “space” to make up your mind, you are better off without him. And in the end, you may even find someone else about whom you have no doubts or confusion.
Dear Queenie,
When my mother-in-law is planning to come to visit us she lets us know she is coming but she doesn’t tell us when she is going to arrive. Then we have to stay home all day waiting for her. This doesn’t bother my wife, but I find it inconvenient and frustrating.
Queenie, is there anything I can do about it?—Son-in-law in waiting
Dear Son-in-law,
The next time your mother-in-law says she is coming to see you, tell her you have errands to run and need to know when to expect her, so she should call you on your cellphone when she is getting close to arrival so you can get home in time to meet her.
Dear Queenie,
I got divorced many years ago and about 10 years later I got married to someone else. I have never had any contact with my ex except for important occasions involving our children, like a wedding. However, my sisters and brothers have started inviting my ex and her new husband to family affairs, like holiday celebrations and my ex invites them to her family affairs.
My wife and I do not attend anything when my ex and her husband will be there and we do not understand why my family invites them.
Queenie, why do they do this? And are we wrong to not go?—Offended brother
Dear Brother,
Your sisters and brothers may be doing this to please your children – after all, your ex is still their mother. You should let them know how you feel about this. Perhaps they can make other arrangements so that you do not have to feel so offended.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been going together for about 4 years and I think he is going to propose to me, because his best friend just proposed to his girlfriend and my boyfriend always does like his friend does – he takes me to the same kind of places and gets me the same kind of gifts as his friend gives his girlfriend.
If my boyfriend does propose soon after his friend has done it, I’m going to say “no” because I won’t say “yes” to a copycat proposal.
Queenie, what do you think about all this?—Copycat’s girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
Your boyfriend seems to be unable to make major decisions on his own and is not likely to change. You probably would be much happier with someone more mature.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in my 40s and I’m still single because I’ve never been able to meet the right person for me.
Queenie, what can I do about this?—Lonely single person
Dear Lonely,
Think about your appearance, your personality, what you expect from other people and the kind of people you tend to like. Ask friends and family how you come across to the people you are trying to attract, as they will see things about you that you may not be aware of, and be prepared to hear things you do not like. Try taking some college classes and/or doing some volunteer work with a community service organisation, which will give you a chance to meet other people and to become a more interesting person.
