Dear Queenie,
I got pregnant for a man who doesn’t know how to manage his money. He wants to be father to this child when it is born, but not support it financially.
Meanwhile, I am thinking of getting back together with the man I used to be with before I met the baby’s father.
Queenie, what should I do?—Can’t decide what to do
Dear Can’t decide,
Does your ex know you want to get back together with him? And does he know you are pregnant with another man’s baby? He should know everything about the baby before you talk about getting back together, because he probably will not take it well if he finds out afterward that you have kept such important information to yourself.
Get professional legal advice regarding the baby’s father to establish exactly what his rights and responsibilities are in relation to his offspring.
And from now on use birth control when you have sex with a man, unless you intend to get pregnant.
Dear Queenie,
My daughter’s husband left her after their children grew up and now they are divorced, but she still sends him a card on his birthday and holidays and she expects me to send him cards too because he is still my grandchildren’s father.
Queenie, do I have to?—Annoyed ex-mother-in-law
Dear Annoyed,
You do not have to send him such cards, or have any contact with him at all, but it would be nice of you to do so, if only for your grandchildren’s sake.
Dear Queenie,
My sister’s children do not call me “Aunt”, they just call me by my name the same as their parents.
Queenie, I find this very rude. What do you think?—Offended aunt
Dear Offended aunt,
You should talk to your sister about this. Childen repeat what they hear their parents say, and it is up to the parents to explain to them what they should call you and how they should address you, and to enforce the rule.
Dear Queenie,
My mother eats a lot of junk food and is very fat. I tried to talk to her about watching her diet and losing some weight but it didn’t make any difference.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Worried daughter
Dear Daughter,
You have talked to your mother about this and it did not help. Is your father in the picture on all this? If he is, maybe if he says something it will help, or maybe he already has spoken his piece and your mother ignored him. Beyond all that, until your mother decides for herself to eat better and lose some weight, there is nothing more you can do.
Dear Queenie,
My wife doesn’t do well at events where there are a lot of people. She just doesn’t understand what people are saying. She tries to listen, but you can tell from what she says that she just doesn’t understand the conversation. It’s embarrassing when it happens and a lot of people just turn away from her and they don’t invite her back again.
Queenie, I tried to talk to her about all this, but she just got mad and said I was trying to pick a fight. What more can I do?—Embarrassed husband
Dear Husband,
Does your wife just not understand the language, or does she have poor hearing or a mental or emotional problem? If it is any of the latter three possibilities, she should see a medical or psychological specialist for help. And you should not expect her to attend events with you that she will not be able to enjoy.
