Dear Queenie,
My wife died a couple of years ago and when looking after my young son got to be too much for my mother, who is getting quite old, I hired a young woman to take care of him while I’m at work and my son just loves her.
The problem is that she has been coming on to me and I’m attracted to her, but she has a boyfriend, so I won’t do anything about it as long as she is with him, but what do I do if they break up? Would that mean she shouldn’t look after my son anymore? Or if she continues to take care of him, what happens if we break up? Could she still work for me?
Queenie, what do you say?—Lonely Daddy
Dear Lonely Daddy,
It worked for Georg von Trapp, but you might not be as lucky. Better keep hands off the nanny, certainly as long as she has a boyfriend and even if/when she does not, only if you both want to make the arrangement permanent, as anything less might be too confusing, even painful, for your son.
And if you are in the market for a new wife, let all your married friends know. I am sure they will be eager to fix you up with eligible single women.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in my late 20s and have top-notch education and a good career with plenty of advancement already and the possibility of more.
The problem is that every relationship I’ve had broke up over the fact that the man felt threatened by my success and started to resent it.
Queenie, will I ever be able to have a normal family life?—Career woman
Dear Career woman,
If you want a successful relationship with a man you have to find one who is himself successful in life, even if that does not mean having a high-level career, and feels secure enough in himself not to resent your success.
Do not settle for less, even if it takes a while to find “Mr. Right.”
Dear Queenie,
My mother was simply beautiful when she was young, but now she’s going on 90 and she looks her age.
She loves to go through her old photo albums with all the pictures of her when she was young, but what do I say to her when she shows them to me?
Queenie, it seems mean to say how beautiful she used to be, implying that she isn’t anymore.—Loving daughter
Dear Loving daughter,
Since when does “old” automatically equal “unbeautiful”? Furthermore, your mother, unless she is blind, sees herself in the mirror every day and knows exactly what she looks like now.
I understand that some people do not age as well as others, but then, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Surely you can find something complimentary to say about the way she looks now, even if it is along the lines of (she being almost 90) “You do not look a day over 70.”
Dear Queenie,
I was born with 6 toes on each foot. They were removed with surgery when I was still little, but the doctor tells me the tendency is genetic and my children might also have the same defect.
So Queenie, when and how do I tell my boyfriend about this?—Abnormal Jean
Dear Queenie,
Recently my wife and I had a date to go out to dinner with a couple we know, but it turned out the husband had to work that night so the two wives decided to go out by themselves and left me home.
I don’t mind my wife going out with her friends, but this plan was for both of us and I felt left out.
Queenie, shouldn’t they have taken me along, or rescheduled for a night when the other husband was free to go too?—Home alone
