Dear Queenie,
I’ve been divorced for years and my children’s father has never been very much involved with them since he got married again and started a new family. When they visited his house all they did was sit around watching TV while he pretty much ignored them.
Now he’s divorced again and they are teenagers and they don’t want to ever go visit his house at all because there is nothing for them to do there. I hate forcing them to do something they don’t want to, but I need some alone time, which I only get when they are with him (or at least at his house).
Queenie, is it wrong to make them go?—Stressed out
Dear Stressed out,
You are lucky to be on such good terms with your children that they want to stay with you. Usually teenagers cannot wait to get out of their house.
Surely they can find something to do while they are at their father’s house – watch TV, play video games, go to the movies or a sporting event with him, whatever. Remind them that it is important that they have some kind of relationship with him, even if it is not exactly what the kind they would want.
And if you still need more alone time, maybe you could treat them to a trip to the movies or a sporting event, or get them involved in some teenagers service group or other volunteer work.
