Dear Queenie,
The other day I got an e-mail from someone whose name I didn’t recognise that had attached a picture of my daughter in a very pornographic pose.
She broke up with her boyfriend recently and I suspect he is the one who sent it, though I can’t be certain.
Queenie, should I tell her about it? I don’t want to embarrass her.—Disturbed mother
Dear Disturbed mother,
YES, you should tell your daughter immediately, so she can take appropriate measures. There is no telling how many people this picture was sent to so far and once something like that gets out it is very difficult, if not impossible, to put a stop to it.
She may be embarrassed now, but think how much worse it will be if she finds out later on, after things have gone further – at a job interview, for example!
Dear Queenie,
Both of my parents are dead and us children have put the family home up for sale. While cleaning things out I discovered a box of love letters between them that they wrote each other during the time they were apart at different universities.
Queenie, should I keep these letters or destroy them to preserve my parents’ privacy?—Undecided daughter
Dear Undecided,
If you feel it would be an intrusion on your parents’ privacy do not read the letters, but by all means keep them. They are a valuable part of your family’s history and one day their grandchildren (or even yours) will want to know more about the couple who wrote them. When that time comes, will those descendants even understand what a letter was? Or will all their correspondence be lost somewhere in cyberspace?
Dear Queenie,
My daughter’s first husband walked out on her when their kids were just old enough to miss him. After a while she got married again and he was a great stepfather to her kids, but now they are breaking up too and the children can’t understand why their daddies keep deserting them.
Queenie, how can I make them understand that this isn’t their fault?—Worried grandma
Dear Grandma,
You can try to explain that sometimes grownups just cannot manage to live together and get along with each other and it has nothing to do with their children. If you are still in touch with their stepfather you can ask him to also try to explain this to them. And professional counselling probably would help too.
Dear Queenie,
I divorced my first husband because I found out he cheated on me. Now I’m married again and I’m terrified the same thing might happen again. He works in an office with several other people and a couple of them are women and I keep thinking he might be up to something with one of them even though I know that he isn’t, but I keep thinking it might still happen.
Queenie, how can I learn to trust him?—Frightened wife
Dear Wife,
I hope your husband understands how you feel and why you feel this way, and is doing everything he can to reassure you. However, you both probably would benefit from professional counselling – separately and together.
Yes, dear readers, I know this is an old, old song, but the reason the “oldies” are “goldies” is because of the truth they contain.
Dear Queenie,
There is a group of kids my son plays with that all except my son were invited to a birthday party by one of them.
Queenie, what can I say to make my son feel better?
—Sad dad
Dear Dad,
Did the children receive written invitations? If so, is it possible that your son’s invitation got lost somehow? If you are on good terms with the other child’s parents, you could ask them about it. If your son was deliberately left out, you might ask yourself “why?” Does he play too roughly or rudely with other children? Is he a bully? On the other hand, if it was just a matter of the other child not liking your son, well, you will have to explain to him that sometimes there are disappointments in life and he will have to learn to cope with them. You might also plan something else special for him on the day of the party, to take his mind off it.
