Dear Queenie,

Our granddaughter has lived with us since she was a baby because both her parents had died in an accident. She has always called us Grandpa and Grandma, but now she is in school she wants to call us Mama and Papa like other kids call their parents.

Queenie, should we just accept this? But won’t it confuse her?—Worried Grandma

Dear Grandma,

I think your granddaughter understands that you are her grandparents and if she ever seems confused about the relationship she is old enough by now to understand your explanation of the details. Let her call you whatever she prefers – as long as it is respectful!

Dear Queenie,

My parents pretty much ignore me and my sister except when we get scolded for doing something wrong or even just not doing something quite right, but our brother get praised for everything he does, no matter what it is.

I tried talking to my mother about this but she says that’s just the way things are and I should learn to live with it.

Queenie, please help?—Disrespected

Dear Disrespected,

It would seem that your parents are rather old-fashioned, or come from a culture that does not place the same value on girls as on boys.

If your parents do not give you the validation you deserve, look for it in other places such as from your teachers and sports coaches if you play any sports.

Meanwhile, you and your sister should continue to try to do your very best. I promise you, it will pay off in the long run. Eventually your employers and colleagues will recognise and acknowledge your efforts even if your parents are not capable of doing so.

Dear Queenie,

My mother is a terrible liar. You just can’t believe anything she says about what she has been doing, or about anyone else for that matter. I make it a habit to check up on whatever she says so I will know the truth, but it is a pain in the neck (and in another part, if you know what I mean) to have to do so.

Many times I have told her I checked out what she said and confronted her with the truth, but she continues the same old tricks.

Queenie, why does she do this?—Disgusted daughter

Dear Disgusted,

Probably she lies to gain attention and/or sympathy, and to manipulate others. By checking out whatever she says you are handling the situation as best you can.

All else you can do is limit your contact with her, and if she complains about it tell her exactly why you are doing so – not that it is likely to get her to change her ways, but at least you will not have to put up with her lying.

Dear Queenie,
I have been bisexual for 10 years now and maybe more and I’m 21 but my family doesn’t know about and might not even approve (old school and Christian). I’ve been with men and women.
I am in a relationship with a woman again and she’s madly in love with me and I’m with her.
My youngest sister is most important to me and we are really close and she never knew about that part of my life.
Queenie, how can I tell my youngest sister and my family about all this, because we are getting really serious?—M.B.

Dear M.B.,
Sooner or later your family, including your youngest sister, will find out about “all this.” It probably will not be easy for them to take, but it will be less difficult for them if it comes straight from you. However, you do not want to drop the news on them like a bombshell.
A little research on the Internet might help you. There are websites for LGBT persons that specifically help with dilemmas like yours.
You do not say how old your youngest sister is. If she is in her teens you can tell her along with, or at least in the same way as, the rest of your family. However, if she is younger than that you will have to find an age-appropriate way of talking to her about it. Perhaps once your parents know, they can help you tell her. They also may want to have some input into when you tell her.