Dear Queenie,
My husband is attractive and friendly and women love to flirt with him. I get sick of watching them getting close to him and trying to put moves on him.
Queenie, what’s a polite way to tell them he’s taken?—Irritated wife
Dear Irritated,
Do these women know your husband is married? Are they acquainted with you? If so, just take his arm or hold his hand when they start cozying up to him and act as though they are talking to you too. If not, make a point of introducing yourself to them as his wife.
Also, have a talk with your husband and ask him not to encourage their behaviour; if necessary, to actively discourage it. He can do so easily by introducing you or starting to talk affectionately about you when they get too aggressive.
Dear Queenie,
My husband passed on several years ago. My family and friend keep pushing me to start dating again, but I still miss my husband.
Queenie, how do I know when it’s time to move on?—Grieving widow
Dear Widow,
If your only reason for not moving on is that you are afraid of getting hurt or rejected, it is time to move on. Even if you do not find someone to fall in love with, you can make new friends. And who knows? You might just get lucky and find a new life companion.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend says I’m exactly what he wants in a wife except that I look like his mother.
I always heard men tend to marry women who remind them of their mother.
Queenie, what do you think he means and why is this a problem for him?—Confused
Dear Confused,
Before you go rushing out to have plastic surgery, you need to meet his mother.
Does he just mean you have a strong physical resemblance to a woman a generation older than yourself or are you actually that much older than your boyfriend?
Or does he have such a poor relationship with his mother that any slight resemblance, whether physical or behavioural, is a turnoff for him?
Once you have the answers to these questions you will have a better idea what his problem is and what, if anything, you want to do about it.
Dear Queenie,
My mother cheated on my father and they got divorced. Now she lives with the boyfriend she cheated on my Dad with and I live with them and visit my Dad whenever he is off from work.
I don’t like the boyfriend. He drinks too much. He’s nice enough when he’s sober, but when he drinks he gets abusive to both of us.
Mom is afraid to break up with him because he supports us and she couldn’t manage financially without him. I would rather live with my father, but then what would happen to Mom without me around?
Queenie, what can I do?—Trapped
Dear Trapped,
You mother’s life choices are her problem, not yours. If your father is willing to have you live with him, go for it!
Meanwhile, try to put your mother in touch with Safe Haven (office tel. 9277, 24-hour hotline 9333) for help in dealing with her abuser.
Dear Queenie,
Last year my wife gained a lot of weight so I suggested she might want to go shopping for some new clothes that she wouldn’t be busting out of. Instead she went on a diet and lost all that weight until her clothes fit her again.
The problem is she is still dieting and I’m afraid she is getting too skinny, but when I suggest that it’s time to quit the diet she gets mad and says if she does I will tell her how fat she is.
Queenie, what should I do?—Worried husband
