Dear Queenie,
Recently a man I used to be in love with came back to live here. We both got married and then divorced in the meantime and we are both now in committed relationships, but we get together now and then just to visit and keep each other up to date.
Queenie, is this okay or should we not take a chance on being tempted to go further?—Still in love with him
Dear Still in love,
Getting together behind your spouses’/partners’ backs is not a good idea. Instead, why don’t all four of you do things together in a more normal foursome friendship rather than just you and him in a romantic twosome atmosphere?
Dear Queenie,
Recently my boyfriend and I broke up after seeing each other for a couple of years. There was no big fight or anything like that, we just kind of drifted apart and stopped seeing each other.
My problem is that there are a lot of things in my apartment that remind me of him – pictures, things of his that he left here and little gifts he gave me, and I don’t know what to do with them.
Queenie, what do you suggest?—Ex-girlfriend
Dear Ex,
The things he gave you are yours to do with as you please – keep them, throw them out or give them to a charitable organisation if they can be of use to someone else.
The things of his that he left behind are another matter. Pack them up or toss them in a box and ask him if he wants them back. If he does, give him a deadline to pick them up. If he has not taken them away by the deadline, feel free to do with them as you have done with his gifts – keep them, throw them out or give them to a charitable organisation if they can be of use to someone else.
Dear Queenie,
My husband and I do just great in the bedroom, but he also wants me to let him bathe (shower) with me. He says most people enjoy showering together and we should too.
Queenie, I prefer privacy in the bathroom. Is that so wrong? Should I give in and do what he wants?—Bathing beauty
Dear Beauty,
This is not a matter of right or wrong, but of whether or not you enjoy the experience. Some people enjoy the intimacy of bathing together and having someone help them scrub their hard-to-reach parts, some do not.
Why not give it a try? You might like it. If not, you do not have to do it again.
Dear Queenie,
When you have guests for dinner, must you offer to let them take the leftovers home with them or do you get to keep them for your own use?—Entertaining Etty Ket
Dear Etty Ket,
It is up to you just how generous you wish to be. You are not obliged to feed anyone beyond the meal to which they were invited.
However, if you have been in the habit of giving out “doggy bags” you may have to re-educate your guests by preparing less food than you are accustomed to do, so that there are no leftovers, or by putting the leftovers away immediately and, if anyone asks for some “take home” telling them you are planning to have the leftovers yourself for lunch or dinner the next day.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of months and I want to make a romantic dinner for him.
Queenie, what do you think I should serve? And how should I dress? And how do I make a romantic atmosphere?—Inexperienced girlfriend
Dear Girlfriend,
My answer of all of your questions is: How the h*** should I know? I do not even know who your boyfriend is, let alone what foods he likes and what things turn him on.
By now you should have some idea of what foods he likes, what clothes he thinks make you look sexy and what kind of atmosphere puts him in a romantic mood. If you really do not have any idea about these things it is time for you to become less self-involved and start paying attention to what your boyfriend says, thinks and feels.
