Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend is getting so fat I can hardly look at him. I try to give him healthy food but he goes behind my back and buys all sorts of junk food and snacks. I tried to get him to go to a gym or even just take a walk for exercise but he gets tired so easily so he quit even trying.
It’s not just how he looks, I’m worried about his health.
Queenie, what more can I do?—Fatty’s girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend,
Try to get your boyfriend to go to his family doctor for a check-up. There may be a medical or psychological reason for his weight gain and, if so, the doctor can tell him what it is and how to control it – if he follows the doctor’s instructions – or refer him to another professional who can help him – again, if he cooperates.
Other than that, you can either accept things the way they are or end the relationship. You cannot force your boyfriend to take care of himself properly. And, just possibly, the prospect of losing you will motivate him to do better, although it might also send him into a psychological tailspin that only makes things worse.

Dear Queenie,

My oldest son’s wife dresses like a prostitute. If it doesn’t bother her husband, my son, I wouldn’t care how she dresses, except when she comes to visit us and she is dressed that way in front of our younger sons who are still teenagers and younger.

I don’t want to make trouble by saying anything to her about her taste in clothes but I sure wish she would dress better in front of my husband and me and our younger sons.

Queenie, what is your advice?—Offended

Dear Offended,

Does your daughter-in-law’s way of dressing bother your husband as much as it bothers you, or is he too busy enjoying the view and that is part of what bothers you?

Ask your son to explain to his wife that her style of clothing embarrasses his old-fuddy-duddy mother and to ask her to dress more conservatively when they come to visit you.

As for your younger sons, I have no doubt they have seen the same elsewhere, in public. Do not criticise your daughter-in-law, but when the opportunity arises in conversation explain to them that you do not agree with such a manner of dress, and why.

Dear Queenie,

I’ve been going out with a guy who isn’t the type I usually date, but it turns out he’s so great that I keep on seeing him.

However, like I said, he’s not my usual type and a lot of people don’t believe I’ve gone on seeing him and I get a lot of questions about it

Queenie, what’s a good answer for them?—Beauty dating a beast

Dear Beauty,

Tell them what you told me: “He’s so great and I am so lucky!” End of conversation.

Dear Queenie,

My parents raised me to always send a “thank you” note to anyone who gave me a gift, even if I had already thanked them in person, and I am trying to raise my children the same way.

My question is, is it still necessary for them to write something down on paper and mail it? These days with email and text messaging and WhatsApp and all, is it okay to send an electronic “thank you” or do they still have to do the pen-paper-stamp-Post Office thing?

Queenie, what do you say?—Thank you Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

I believe most of the etiquette gurus still believe in what you call “the pen-paper-stamp-Post Office” thing. However, I think an electronic “thank you” message should be adequate under certain conditions.

First, you must be sure the gift-giver will receive it. Remember, many older persons are not completely in tune with the modern electronic era.

Second, the note should include some message specific to the person who will receive it – for example, a mention of the gift they sent and how it will be used,

Mass mailings of a generalised “thank you” message sent simultaneously to a number of people never were and still are not acceptable, whether sent by “snail mail” or electronically.