Dear Queenie,
I just started high school this year and there’s this girl I like and I want to get to know her but I never know what to say to her.
Queenie, how do I get started?—Tongue-tied
Dear Tongue-tied,
Start a conversation with her the way you would with any stranger – “Hi, how are you?” Then ask her about something of mutual interest, like your schoolwork. Does she find the homework load too heavy? How does she like this class or that one? Is she interested in sports? Which one(s)?
Once you get to know her a little bit, you will have some idea what to say to her.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend has the same name as my ex-wife and it’s really bugging me.
Queenie, how can I get used to this?—Confused
Dear Confused,
Try calling your girlfriend by a pet name of nickname that is different from your ex-wife’s name. I am sure your girlfriend will be more than willing to help you find something you both like.
However, look at the bright side. You do not have to worry about getting in trouble by calling your girlfriend by your ex-wife’s name. Your girlfriend will never know the difference if you do not tell her you made a “mistake.”
Dear Queenie,
With a one-month-old baby involved, there seems to be no way out for my daughter leaving her psychotic and controlling boyfriend. He is supposed to have scheduled visitation away from my house because of his disrespect and threatening behaviour, yet he still shows up.
Police warned him numerous times, but he makes a mockery of the system. He recently found an apartment, so now he controls her car keys, or he starts flipping when visitation ends, just for her to stay with him.
Now her father, like many others, thinks she is enabling the situation, but he just doesn't listen.
Queenie, being unemployed for one year, do you think he has any rights, and who says visitation must be by his house?—Worried Grandmother
Dear Grandmother,
A lawyer or the Court of Guardianship can advise you concerning parents’ legal rights.
As for your daughter’s relationship with her baby’s father, I suggest you and she consult Safe Haven (office 9277; 24-hour hotline number: 9333 or (721) 523-6400; e-mail address This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or Facebook: SafeHavenSt.Maarten) for advice and assistance.
Dear Queenie,
My ex-husband and I got divorced years ago because he cheated on me and we hadn’t seen each other since then, but recently we met up again at a friend’s wedding and learned that neither of us has remarried or even had a serious relationship in all those years and we still have feelings for each other.
Queenie, what do you think? Should I take a chance on getting back together with him?—Ex-wife in love
Dear Ex-wife,
That depends on why your ex-husband cheated on you the first time around. If it was because something was lacking in your marriage that your ex looked for elsewhere, and if you both are willing to work this problem out with the help of a professional marriage counsellor, there is a fair chance that remarrying your ex will work out well.
However, if he is simply unable or unwilling to honour his marriage vows, my answer is “NO.”
Dear Queenie,
My sister stopped speaking to me a couple of years ago because I dated her best friend for a while and then we broke up. There wasn’t any big fight or anything, we just sort of cooled off with each other. Her friend and I are still on good terms, we just aren’t together anymore. But my sister still isn’t talking to me.
Queenie, I didn’t do anything to either of them. Why can’t my sister get over it?—Estranged brother
Dear Brother,
I am guessing your sister was hoping you would make her friend her sister(-in-law) and was terribly disappointed when that did not happen. However, her reaction was, and still is, irrationally out of proportion. All you can do is hope she will get over it with (probably a very, very long) time.
