Dear Queenie,
Sometimes a friend of mine invites me to come over and hang out with her, but the whole time I’m there she is busy on her cell phone or her computer and hardly takes time out to talk to me. If I get bored and suggest we go outside and take a walk she is not interested and if I ask to use the computer she gets mad.
Queenie, is this any way to treat a friend?—Disgusted friend
Dear Friend,
No, of course it is not. The next time it happens, tell her you can see she is busy, and leave. And try to find some friends who are more interested in you than in their electronic devices.
Dear Queenie,
My sister and her fiancé have scheduled their wedding for the same weekend that I planned a family vacation.
Queenie, shouldn’t they have asked if that date was convenient before they picked it? Would it be all right if I asked them to pick another date?—Annoyed
Dear Annoyed,
Why? Did you ask them if that weekend was convenient for them before you planned your vacation? As you did when you scheduled your vacation, they chose a date that was right for them.
You can choose to change your plans and attend the wedding or go on vacation and miss it. You do not get to ask them to change their date to suit your convenience.
Dear Queenie,
My mother is not a good cook. Everything with her is shortcuts – canned food, frozen dinners and all like that. It’s like eating at a fast-food place.
Now that I am out on my own I have learned to use natural unprocessed fresh foods and I don’t like eating my mother’s cooking.
Queenie, what do I say when she invites me over for dinner?—Food snob
Dear Snob,
A fast-food dinner now and then will not hurt you. Say, “Yes, thank you,” and try to enjoy the meal.
Dear Queenie,
Last week I went out to dinner with a guy I met recently and he got so drunk they threw him out of the restaurant. Then they came to me to collect the bill, which was a lot, mostly for all the drinks he had, and I had to pay even though it was a lot more than I could afford. I haven’t seen or heard from this guy since then, but I know where he works.
Queenie, should I look him up and ask him to pay me back for what it cost? He was the one who asked me for a date and most of the bill was for his dinner and all his drinks.—Ripped off date
Dear Date,
By all means ask him to reimburse you for the cost of the dinner, never mind making reparations for the embarrassment he caused you.
And in the future, if a date is “under the influence” when he comes to pick you up, do not go out with him; if he gets drunk during the meal leave before they bring the bill; if they come to throw him out tell them to collect the bill from him before they do so; and above all, do not let him drive you home.
Dear Queenie,
I’m planning on proposing marriage to my girlfriend and I’d like to make a real big spectacular occasion of it.
Got any good ideas, Queenie?—Would-be-fiancé
Dear Would-be-fiancé,
First, ask yourself how your girlfriend would respond to something big, spectacular – and presumably public. If she is basically a private person, she might not take your big, spectacular proposal the way you hope.
And ask yourself how you will take it if her (big, spectacular and presumably public) answer is “No.”
