Dear Queenie,
My sister is hard to get along with and I am the last person in our family who still talks to her, but now I am getting sick of her too.
The problem is we have mostly the same friends and I don’t know what to say when they ask about her.
Any suggestions, Queenie?—Fed up
Dear Fed up,
When someone asks you about your sister, just say, “She’s fine” or “Same as usual” or something along those lines. If they want more details, tell them to ask her themselves. No explanation is required.
Dear Queenie,
When I’m getting ready to go to bed and I mention to my wife that I would like to have sex with her, she says she’ll be there in a few minutes, but then she gets busy doing something or falls asleep watching TV and it’s hours before she comes to bed. She will promise to make up for it the next night, but then it’s the same thing all over again.
Queenie, should I start looking elsewhere?—Frustrated husband
Dear Husband,
I will never advise anyone to cheat on their spouse.
In your case, I advise that you start working on your approach to your wife. “Come on, honey, let’s have sex” is not a good way to get your wife “turned on”. Try working on your romantic technique. You could even ask your wife outright what she needs you to do to get her interested in having sex.
Dear Queenie,
My husband smokes cigars, not cigarettes, and I can’t convince him that cigar smoke is just as bad for the people around him as cigarette smoke.
Queenie, maybe if he reads it in the newspaper he will believe it.—Smokey’s Wife
Dear Smokey’s Wife,
The American Cancer Society says cigars give off more smoke than cigarettes because they are larger than cigarettes so they have more tobacco and burn longer, and all tobacco smoke can cause cancer.
Cigar smoke is not “just as bad” as cigarette smoke, it is much worse.
Dear Queenie,
My sister is getting married and I am supposed to be her matron of honour, but it turns out that I am pregnant and her wedding will be about 3 months before I am due to have the baby.
Now she is mad because she thinks I will be getting more attention than her because I will be pregnant and it will ruin the wedding for her.
Queenie, what can I say to calm her down?—Expecting
Dear Expecting,
Tell your sister there is nothing you can do about being pregnant, but you will step down as matron of honour and just be a guest at her wedding if that will make her feel better. What more can you do? Does she want you to stay away altogether?
Dear Queenie,
My mother’s pension is not enough for her to live on and she wants me and my brother to each give her money every month to help out.
My brother is very well off, with a good job and no family to support so he can afford to give her as much as she is asking for, but my husband and I have 3 kids in school and we don’t have very much money to spare. We are willing to help her out as much as we can, but not as much as she is asking for and my brother is giving her.
Queenie, how can we make her and my brother understand?—Feeling guilty
Dear Feeling guilty,
There is no reason for you to feel guilty about not being as well off as your brother. That is just the way things are sometimes.
If you have tried to explain all this to your mother and your brother and they do not want to listen to you, try writing them a letter explaining how much you can afford to give and why you cannot afford any more than that. Your first priority has to be your children’s welfare.
