My husband has a friend, a woman, that he talks to about everything. He won’t talk to me about our problems or go with me for counselling, but he tells her all about what he says is wrong with me and he listens to her advice.
I tried to tell him that this was a form of cheating on me and almost as bad as if he was having sex with her (he claims he isn’t) but he just doesn’t understand.
Queenie, he reads your column in the paper every day. Maybe if you explain things he will see it and it will help.—Angry wife
There is a reason for the phrase “forsaking all others” in the marriage vows, and it means emotionally as well as physically (sexually).
By talking to another woman about your problems when he refuses to discuss them with you or a professional counsellor, he is cheating on you emotionally, and that is just as bad as (or maybe even worse than!) if he were sleeping with her – and are you so sure he is not sleeping with her? He may be lying to you about that.
Even if your husband will not go with you for counselling, go by yourself for the help it will give you in coping with your problems and deciding what to do about them.