Dear Queenie,
I have my own business and mostly I do pretty well, but there have been some hard times too. When things get bad my wife goes out and has an affair to make up for the money and attention I can’t give her.
Queenie, I feel like a fool for still loving her. What do you think?—Husband in love
Dear Husband,
I think if your wife really loved you she would try to help you out during the bad times, maybe even get a job to help pay the bills, but not sneak around with some other man behind your back. I think this is not a healthy relationship and you should seriously consider whether you want it to continue – with professional counselling if you need it, and perhaps a good lawyer.
Dear Queenie,
My husband is on his cell phone all the time checking Facebook and email, etc. We hardly ever talk anymore and he even doesn’t come to bed until I have fallen asleep.
Queenie, I feel like throwing his phone away! Any suggestions?—Frustrated wife
Dear Wife,
Throwing your husband’s phone away will not do much good – he can just get another one. Have you tried talking to him about this?
Possibly you will need professional counselling – for the two of you, separately and/or together – because this kind of behaviour can be as addictive as drug or alcohol abuse.
Dear Queenie,
It seems like no one in my family can get along with anyone else, and family get-togethers are a mess, with quarrelling and sometimes even physical fights and children crying and no one trying to protect and comfort them.
I don’t take my children to these events anymore and I really don’t want to go to them myself.
Queenie, is there anything I can do to make things better?—Fed up with family
Dear Fed up,
There is no reason you have to attend such events. You can always stay home, and if they ask why you were not present at any get-together, explain your reason for avoiding the family friction – peaceably, but without apologising. And try to arrange for you and your children to see your relatives individually, one at a time.
Dear Queenie,
Sometimes people ask me where I’m from because I speak English with an accent.
Queenie, aren’t questions like that rude? What’s a good way to answer them?—Foreign resident
Dear Resident,
I do not think people intend to be rude when they ask that question. They are just interested because you sound different from what they are accustomed to. And they may even be trying to be friendly.
If you do not want to discuss the matter with them, just tell them you do not like to talk about it, or just change the subject, or even just ask them why they want to know.
Dear Queenie,
I’m in my 20s and I don’t know if I will ever want to have children. When I go out with someone more than once or twice the question of children usually comes up and I don’t know what to say.
Queenie, how can I know for sure? And until I do, what should I say?—Undecided about kids
Dear Undecided,
It is quite common for someone your age to not know whether they will ever want to be a parent. For the time being, tell your date you might want to have children someday, but you are not ready for that yet.
And if you become so close to anyone that there is a possibility of pregnancy, be sure to take precautions to prevent that from happening by accident.
