Dear Queenie,
I have a relative who has cancer and is not expected to live much longer. She has a 1-year-old son and wants me and my husband to adopt her son when she dies.
My husband and I already have a 3-year-old daughter and he would like to have another child, but I have a full-time job and I don’t want any more children. One child is as much as I can handle.
Queenie, what is your advice?—Mother of one
Dear Mother,
Children need love and attention from both their parents. Although your husband apparently can offer this child what he needs, you apparently cannot, so it would be better for him to go to a family where both parents want him and will give him the love and support he needs.
Dear Queenie,
My father died a few months ago and we, his family, are still mourning his death. I am getting sick and tired of people telling me they understand how I feel and then going into a lot of detail about how they lost someone they loved and what it was like for them.
Queenie, what do you say to someone like that?—Fed-up mourner
Dear Mourner,
There is no reason for you to have to listen to that thoughtless kind of “sympathy”. Just say, “Thank you,” and hang up the phone or walk away.
Dear Queenie,
I’m different from other teenage girls. I don’t care if my clothes are the latest style. In fact, I don’t even like a lot of the latest styles.
Queenie, does that make me a freak?—Unfashionable
Dear Unfashionable,
No! Youngsters (and older people, too) very often express their individuality by their style of clothes, the way they fix their hair and what kind of makeup they use. If you are getting the kind of attention you want, that should help you decide what kind of clothes you want to wear.
Dear Queenie,
There’s this guy I’m good friends with and I like him a lot so I was going to ask him to go out with me, but my sister likes him too and she asked him first even though she knew I was going to and now he likes her a lot.
Queenie, what can I do?—So upset
Dear Upset,
Your sister was wrong to ask this boy out when she knew you were going to, but what is done is done. If you are lucky, their relationship will run its course and then you will still be this boy’s good friend and you will have your chance. On the other hand, if their relationship lasts, you will know that your romance with him was not meant to be.
Wait and see what happens. It will not be easy to do, but in the end, whatever happens, doing so will have been worth it.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend wants to have sex with me. He isn’t pushing me about it, but I know he wants it. I want to wait until we’ve been together longer and I know him better.
He says he’ll wait until I’m ready. All our friends are having sex.
Queenie, should I do it even though I’m not sure I’m ready?—Frustrating teenager
Dear Teenager,
No! The first time you have sex you should be absolutely sure you are ready for it and that he is the right person to do it with.
Meanwhile, spend less time alone together and more time socialising in groups – but not the ones that are talking about having sex.
