Dear Queenie,

  Both my wife and I started smoking as teenagers and we both have serious health problems because of it, so when our children got to that age we gave them a big allowance every week as long as they didn’t start smoking and when they grew up and had children we did the same for our grandchildren.

  Queenie, I hope you will pass this idea along to your other readers.—Smoke-free Grampa

Dear Grampa,

  Here it is, and I hope it will work for others as well as it has worked for you, your children and their children.

  I am not a smoker and I am totally against the habit in others, not only for their sakes, but for the sake of everyone around them who has to put up with all the second-hand smoke and the health problems it can cause in addition to the unpleasant atmosphere it creates.

Dear Queenie,

  After I retired, a friend from work stayed in touch with me, but it got so he is calling me several times a day and sometimes at crazy hours like late at night or very early in the morning. I asked him to stop calling so often and only during normal daytime hours, but nothing has changed.

  Queenie, how do I get this guy to give me some peace?—Overwhelmed

Dear Overwhelmed,

  It could be that this man is bored out of his mind with all the “stay at home” restrictions we are now all suffering, but sometimes “enough is enough” becomes “enough is too much”.

  If this man is married, call his wife and ask her to intervene. You might also ask whether he has any (mental?) health issues and suggest that a visit to his doctor might be a good idea.

Dear Queenie,

  Many years ago my husband cheated on me with a woman he worked with. The affair ended when she moved away, and I got him to go to counselling with me, but he only went once and then said everything was all right with us.

  Last year she got in touch with him again and I found out they were planning to meet up this summer, but that didn’t go through because of all the COVID-19 restrictions, but they still stayed in touch. We did go to counselling again, but he stopped going after the counsellor said he had betrayed me.

  He insists that it is all over between them, but I suspect that is only because they can’t get together because of all the travel restrictions.

  Queenie, what do you think?—Betrayed wife

Dear Wife,

  He might be telling you the truth, but as you suspect, it may only be because of all the COVID-19 restrictions, which could be only a temporary matter.

  You  cannot force your husband to go for counselling, but you can continue to go yourself to get help deciding what you are willing to put up with, and how to deal with whatever you decide to do about it.

Dear Queenie,

  My son is getting married to a girl from a wealthy family and they expect us to pay for the rehearsal dinner for the wedding party, their spouses and the guests from other places. It will cost a lost more than we can afford.

  Queenie, is this right?—Father of the groom

Dear Father,

  While it is traditional for the groom’s parents to pay for the rehearsal dinner – for the members of the wedding party, their spouses or partners, close relatives, the clergyperson and spouse, and maybe a few other special guests – out-of-town guests are not usually included. And nowadays it is not necessarily the groom’s family that hosts and pays for it.

  The out-of-towners should be given a list of restaurants where they can fend for themselves.

  If money is a problem, tell the bride’s family how much you can afford and ask them to keep within that budget or pay the difference themselves.

  And remember, these days, with all the travel restrictions, and with all the local restrictions on social events, there probably will not be as many guests – local and/or out-of-town – as you might otherwise expect.