Dear Queenie,
When my husband and I were first going together he was always there for me if I needed something. Now we are married he is always ready to help a relative or a neighbour fix their car or something around their house, but if I ask him for any kind of help he is always too busy. And when we go to a party or other social event he leaves me sitting by myself while he visits with everyone else and if I ask him to include me he tells me to stop nagging him.
Queenie, what made him change?—Neglected wife
Dear Wife,
Your husband did not change. When you were first going together he was doing his best to make a good impression on you. Now that he feels secure with you he does not feel any need to make such an effort.
When you need something fixed or some work done around the house, hire a mechanic or a handyman. As for your social life, do not depend on him. Get involved in local activities and social organisations.
Hopefully, when your husband starts to think you are not so dependent on him for help and socialising, he will become more helpful and attentive again – and even if he does not, you will not miss his helpfulness and attention so much.
Dear Queenie,
My sister and I had an argument some years ago and we haven’t been speaking to each other since. After our mother died she is the executor of our mother’s will and she is refusing to give me the things Mom left me in her will – nothing big, just some small things to remember her by.
Queenie, is there anything I can do?—Grieving daughter
Dear Daughter,
You can consult an attorney. As executor of your mother’s will your sister is legally bound to obey your mother’s wishes as expressed in the will.
My condolences on the loss of your mother.
Dear Queenie,
A while ago someone where I work told me he has feelings for me. I told him several times that I am not interested in him and we have been able to work together as needed, but sometimes things just don’t feel right.
Queenie, is there something more I should do?—Uncomfortable colleague
Dear Colleague,
If your co-worker has not said or done anything more about his feelings for you – it could even be that he has gotten over them – there is nothing more you need to do about it. However, if he does bring up the matter again you may need to have as little as possible to do with him.
Dear Queenie,
My fiancée and I are going to get married later this year, but there is something that has me worried. She is not a good housekeeper – actually a very bad one – and I like a neat, clean place to live in.
I don’t want to nag her about it, but I do want a clean place to live and raise children.
Queenie, is there anything you can suggest that might help?—Neat freak fiancé
Dear Fiancé,
You can offer to help with the housework, especially if your fiancée has a full-time job. Or, if you can afford it, you can offer to hire someone to do the housework – and if your fiancée has a full-time job you can expect her to contribute to the cost.
Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend likes to go to a certain restaurant that I don’t much like because a long time ago, before we started going together, he had an affair with a girl who used to work there and everyone there remembers him for it even though she doesn’t work there anymore.
He still likes to go there because he likes their food, even though I have asked him to go somewhere else.
Queenie, am I being unreasonable?—His girlfriend now
Dear Girlfriend
If you try to control your boyfriend you probably will only drive him away.
If you like the food at that place, enjoy it and forget about your boyfriend’s past – and let him forget about it too. The only reason for not going to that particular restaurant would be if you do not like their food.
