Dear Queenie,
When my husband and I go out to eat with his parents they don’t talk to us much because they are too busy commenting on all the other people in the place and afterward they have nothing but complaints about the place being too noisy or too crowded or too hot or too cold or too dark, they didn’t like the way the food was prepared, the service was too slow – whatever.
This is not so much of a problem now, with all the COVID-19 restrictions, but hopefully that will be over before much longer.
I find their behavior very unpleasant and would rather not go out with them, but my husband says they are not going to change and I should just put up with it the best I can.
Queenie, what do you say?—Disgusted wife
Dear Wife,
They are your in-laws and you are stuck with them. You do not have to go out with them every time, but for your husband’s sake go occasionally and try to bear with them as pleasantly as you can.
Dear Queenie,
My cousin never takes her children to a doctor when they get sick, she just gives them some herbal tea and keeps them in bed. Also, she never finished high school and now with the on-line schooling she can’t help them keep up with their schoolwork.
Queenie, I think her children are not well taken care of. Is there anything I can do?—Worried about the kids
Dear Worried,
You could make an anonymous report to Child Protective Services or the local equivalent – in St. Maarten that would be the police Juvenile Department or the Court of Guardianship – and suggest an investigation. And if the children ever visit you, you can offer to help them with their schoolwork if their mother will allow it.
Dear Queenie,
When my husband’s daughter from his first marriage visits us she wants him to only pay attention to her and she is very rude to me. I try to love her as if she was my own child, but it is hard to do when she is so nasty with me.
Queenie, I think my husband should insist that his daughter at least be polite to me even if she doesn’t like me. Is that asking too much?—Annoyed wife
Dear Wife,
No. Every child should be taught to be at least polite to their elders, especially when they are somehow related, even if only by marriage as in your case.
However, you should make a point of giving your stepdaughter plenty of time alone with her father, so that she does not feel that she has to compete with you for his attention, which may be the cause of (or at least contribute to) her rude behaviour.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend has big – I mean BIG – breasts and she has a habit of walking around without a shirt or bra. I guess she thinks it turns me on, but actually seeing her that way turns me off.
Queenie, should I say something to her about it? I don’t want to insult her. What should I say?—Unexcited boyfriend
Dear Boyfriend,
Do not tell your girlfriend that you find her big breasts a turn-off. Just tell her – gently! – that they do not turn you on. And if she ever needs (or opts for) breast surgery, suggest that she go for reduction rather than maintaining the status quo or even enlargement.
Dear Queenie,
I got married right after college so I haven’t got any recent dating experience, but now I’m divorced and I’ve started dating again. It seems like now the men expect to have sex with you after just a few dates.
Queenie, is this the way things are now, or am I just unlucky about the kind of men I meet?—Fed up, but lonely
Dear Fed up,
Not all men are like that. Just tell them you do not do things like that. The ones who only want sex will not call again, but some men may actually find you more attractive for not being promiscuous.
You might also give some thought to how you go about meeting new men in the first place.
