Dear Queenie,
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and now we’re beginning to talk about getting married.
My problem is that I don’t think I have an abnormally strong sex drive (2 or 3 times a week), but I seem to want sex a lot more than he does (maybe once or twice a month). Some of my friends say I should forget about him and find someone who likes sex as much as I do. Others say the sex isn’t as important as his many other good qualities.
Queenie, what do you think? Do you think we have a chance of making a good marriage?—Undecided
Dear Undecided,
I agree that a serious difference in sexual interest can put a severe strain on a marriage. However, I also believe that it is possible to make a marriage work in spite of such a problem. It depends on the maturity and commitment of the two people involved.
I would suggest that some intense premarital counselling would be in order for you and your boyfriend. I would also suggest that in this particular case you do not go to a clergyman for such counselling. Unfortunately, all too often a clergyman’s religious beliefs cloud his (or her) objectivity in such matters and he (or she) tends to have an unrealistic attitude toward such a problem.
Finally, I would suggest a complete physical check-up for your boyfriend. Sometimes a low sex drive is the result of an underlying medical problem.
