Dear Queenie,
I have a coworker whose hygiene is… difficult. We work in close quarters, and over time I have noticed a consistent issue. Body odor, clothes that don’t seem freshly washed, and at times a smell that lingers long after they leave the room. To make matters more complicated, this is not someone I particularly get along with. So there is no easy, friendly way to raise it. It’s now at the point where I dread having to sit near them or attend long meetings. I find myself distracted, uncomfortable, and honestly a bit irritated. I don’t feel it’s my place to address it directly, but management hasn’t done anything either. I even caught myself thinking of putting together a small anonymous “self-care” gift basket: soap, deodorant, maybe a bit of body spray, and leaving it on their desk. Then I thought… that might start a different kind of problem. Queenie, do I just suffer in silence? Or is there a professional way to deal with this without making it awkward or offensive? —Trying to Stay Professional
Dear Trying to Stay Professional,
Let us address the gift basket immediately. Do not do it. Anonymous “help” in situations like this rarely lands as kindness. It lands as humiliation. And in a workplace, that can escalate very quickly into conflict, complaints, or even disciplinary issues, for you. What feels like a subtle hint to you can feel like public embarrassment to someone else. You are right to pause. You are also right that this is uncomfortable. Persistent hygiene issues in a shared workspace are not minor inconveniences; they affect concentration, morale, and basic comfort. But this is not a peer-to-peer correction. It is a management responsibility. Raise it professionally and neutrally: “There’s a hygiene issue affecting shared spaces, and it’s becoming difficult during meetings.” No names. No personal commentary. Let management handle the rest. That is their role. As for your irritation, it is understandable, but be careful not to let it turn into quiet retaliation. The goal is resolution, not embarrassment. In professional spaces, dignity matters on all sides. Even when deodorant is clearly needed. —Queenie
