Dear Queenie,
Can you tell me what is the proper finger to wear your engagement and wedding rings on? My fiancé’s mother and I are having a big argument about this.
And is a man supposed to wear a wedding ring or not?
Queenie, can you settle it for us?—Tired of arguing
Dear Tired,
Different cultures have different traditions, including those concerning the giving and wearing (or not giving/wearing) of engagement and wedding rings.
Although it is customary for a married woman to wear a wedding ring, it is not mandatory.
Whether a man wears a wedding ring is up to the individual couple, although I always think it is a good sign when a man is willing to wear that “I’m spoken for” band in plain sight.
In most Western Christian cultures, it is customary for the engagement ring and later the wedding ring to be worn on the fourth finger (the one next to the “pinky” finger) of the left hand. This custom dates back to the times when people believed the blood vessels in that finger were connected directly to the heart.
Very often the bride switches the engagement ring to another finger or to her right hand after the marriage ceremony, but equally often she keeps it on the same finger as the wedding band. When she does so, she usually wears the wedding band “closest to the heart,” but some brides prefer to wear the other ring, which is often very valuable, on the “inside” and the wedding band on the “outside” to help keep the more expensive ring from falling off accidentally.
The ones who should decide this issue are the bride and groom. Everyone else, including the mothers-in-law, should mind their own business.
