Dear Queenie,
I have a friend who believes every road is a social event. We'll be driving along perfectly fine when suddenly she spots somebody she knows. Without warning, she slows down in the middle of the road. Sometimes she stops completely. Window comes down. “Eh! Long time! How your mother? You still working there? How the children?” Meanwhile, traffic is backing up behind us. People are honking. Drivers are trying to get around us. She, however, is completely unbothered. She carries on the conversation as though she's sitting on a porch instead of blocking one of the busiest roads on the island. It doesn't matter whether it's a passing driver, someone walking on the sidewalk, or a man cutting grass. Everybody deserves a catch-up. I've even seen her wave impatiently at someone to come closer because she “can't hear.” My biggest fear is that one day she is going to stop the wrong person, get into an argument with an already frustrated driver, or finally get a ticket for obstructing traffic. Although, judging by how often I see this happen around the island, I am beginning to think it's become an accepted driving style. Queenie, is this just island friendliness, or should conversations wait until both vehicles have actually stopped? —Passenger With Second-Hand Embarrassment
Dear Passenger With Second-Hand Embarrassment,
There is a uniquely Caribbean traffic law that exists nowhere in the written legislation. “Hold on, I know somebody.” The moment a familiar face appears, all normal rules of traffic temporarily disappear. Lanes become optional. Flow becomes theoretical. And everyone behind you is expected to understand that Auntie Mavis has not been seen since Carnival. Now, friendliness is one of the things that makes island life special. People know each other. They stop. They check in. They ask about your mother, your grandmother, and the cousin who moved to Curaçao twelve years ago. That sense of community is something to treasure. But there is a time and a place. A live traffic lane is neither. The people behind you did not volunteer to participate in the reunion. Nor should they have to wait while you discover who got engaged, who opened a new business, and whose son just graduated. The bigger concern, however, is safety. Drivers approaching from behind may not expect a vehicle to stop suddenly for a roadside conversation. One distracted driver is all it takes for a friendly chat to become an insurance claim. So yes, your concern is reasonable. Your friend is not committing a crime against conversation. She is simply forgetting that other people are trying to get somewhere too. If she absolutely must catch up, there is a wonderfully underused invention called a parking space. Pull over. Park safely. Talk until sunset if you wish. The rest of the island will thank you. And if the police ever do decide to enforce this habit, I suspect half the island will suddenly remember they have everybody's phone number after all. —Queenie
