Dear Queenie,
When we went away to different universities last fall the guy I was dating all through high school and I decided to take some time off from each other and date other people.
I got together with a guy from my new school and I like him a lot, and I hear my “ex” was dating other girls at his new school. But when we were home on Christmas vacation, my “ex” said he wanted us to get back together again and he’s talking like he wants us to get married.
I still have feelings for him, but not like before, and I don’t want to break up with my new boyfriend.
Queenie, what do you think I should do?—Can’t decide
Dear Can’t decide,
You finished high school last year. That makes you about 18 or 19 years old. You are going to university and still have several years of school in front of you, not to mention the career you may wish to follow after you graduate.
You and your “ex” are going to different schools and long-distance relationships are very hard to maintain, even for people with more maturity and experience than you have. Does your “ex” want to transfer to your school or you to transfer to his, or does he expect you to quit school to marry him?
Whatever the answer to these questions, you are very young to be considering a lifelong commitment like marriage. Furthermore, your feelings for your new boyfriend indicate that you are moving on with your life, whether or not your “ex” is doing so.
Tell him you are not yet ready to tie yourself down. I promise you, when the right man asks you at the right time, there will be no question in your mind as to what answer you should give him.
