Dear Editor,
I am writing this article because many of our young men are being carried away in shackles to the prison cells in Pointe Blanche. Our prison cells nowadays have become a home not for the old, but for many of our young men who have fallen into crime. I am writing this article because many of our youths are brought up in homes where there is violence, abuse, and lack of a father as a good role model. I am writing this article, because there is a growing number of single mothers out there who have to fulfil the role of not only mother, but also father because of absent fathers in the homes.
Raising a child in the proper manner does not begin in the schools, the church or in the neighbourhood. Yes they all can contribute, but primarily it begins in the homes where there should be a good caring mother and a dedicated and responsible father.
I can recall some time ago while riding on a bus there were two young school girls among the passengers having a live conversation about the social situation in their homes. These girls were about 13 and 14 years of age, yet they were not ashamed of openly discussing the kind of affairs their single mothers were having with other men. I recall the older looking girl saying: “The man who does be with my mother don’t like step children.”
Now dear Editor, I believe in her situation, according to her complaint, that this gentleman as a possible step father is only interested in the mother. So having a child, or children around is a problem. Matter of fact they are not his own anyway so he probably feels that he doesn’t have to give a damn. He is only there to help keep mom “warm.” Then the younger looking girl responded: “I know my mother does have a man come sleep with her.”
Dear Editor, this situation presented here is just an example of many other children who are growing up in homes today where the father is absent, where children are raised by their grandmothers or where mothers too are showing or giving a bad example to their children. How can these children experience that faithfulness and through love of a marriage relationship between a mother and a father if both parents are failing to set the right example? Homes with absent fathers as well as divorce, separation, fathers who abuse their wives or children, can affect a child psychologically. Boys, particularly, are in need of their fathers in the homes to spend time with them and teach them how to grow up from boys to men.
In the neighbourhood where I live there are two young brothers who sells drugs. These boys grew up without a father. One of the brothers, who is the leader of a gang, surprisingly confessed to one of my neighbours, who made an effort to council him after being arrested on numerous occasions for possession of arms and drugs that he would like to change and start going clean. This kind of confession would indeed bring great relief, not only to his concerned and troubled single mother, but I believe also for the judge who probably must be tired of seeing this young man being ushered in and out of the court house for repeated criminal offences, enough to fill a book.
This young man may be like many others who may want to get free, but have to battle the demons of drug addiction and rebellious life style, that has wrecked not only his youth full life, but also the lives of many others who have fallen or being misled into this path of psychological destruction. He may even be an example for many others to follow, but there is a problem. Some of these young drug-pimps are in too deep; they know too much and they have connections with bigger undercover dealers who are depending on them to sell their “merchandise” So they know they are being watched.
There was a time I use to shun these neighbourhood boys as well as others because I considered them miserable bad boys, who no respectable person should have anything to do with not realizing that the reason why many of these young men turned out the way they are is because they grew up in troubled homes without proper guidance and loving care.
Putting aside my personal pride and arrogance to communicate with them I realized that they too have their inner struggles and are willing to listen or take advice. At times, we as adults or fathers should help mentor the fatherless. The problem we are facing is that many of the absent fathers themselves grew up in homes without a father so in the end the cycle of the family degeneration will continue.
This Father’s Day just look around and see, we have lost many of our young men already. Tomorrow, June the 18 is celebrated as Father’s Day, so have a wonderful day dear fathers with your families. Happy Father’s Day to all dads.
Name withheld at author's request.
