Dear Queenie,
The other day I met up with a man I used to be in high school with. He said “hello” and reminded me who he was, and told me he always remembered me because I was the only girl who danced with him on Prom Night, which I had totally forgotten about.
Queenie, wasn’t that nice of him? I thought I’d share it with you and your other readers.—Faithful reader
Dear Faithful reader,
It is always nice to hear from someone who is not seeking help for a problem.
Your letter proves that even a small act of kindness or friendliness does not go unnoticed and is not a wasted effort.
Dear Queenie,
Both my husband’s parents and mine have small businesses and both of them have offered my husband a job. My parents say they will not have anything to do with us if he takes the job from his parents.
His parents are making a much better offer, but I don’t want to be cut off from my family.
Queenie, what should we do?—Unemployed
Dear Unemployed,
Your parents are trying to cut you and your husband off from his family. What other aspects of your lives will they try to control if you depend on them for your income?
By all means, take the better job offer, and try to stay in touch with your siblings, if you have any, in spite of your parents’ attempts to cut you off. Hopefully, your parents eventually will realise that they are only punishing themselves.
Dear Queenie,
A long time ago I told my husband he didn’t need to give me a gift on my birthday because I knew how much he didn’t like trying to figure out what I might like to get. I didn’t mean he should forget my birthday entirely but that’s what he has done. At least he should remember to say “Happy birthday” and maybe take me out to dinner.
I always remember his birthday, not with a gift but with a special dinner and a birthday cake.
Queenie, am I asking too much of him?—Insulted wife
Dear Wife,
No, you are not asking too much, but it is possible your husband misunderstood what you told him so long ago.
From now on, remind him well in advance that your birthday is coming up and tell him how you would like to celebrate. Tell him you do not like surprises and keep asking him how he is planning to celebrate with you. If that does not do the trick, make your own arrangements to celebrate at your favourite restaurant, and when they bring the bill hand it to him.
Dear Queenie,
I have a friend who is always asking to borrow money, but doesn’t pay it back unless I ask her for it, which I don’t like to do, but I don’t like to say “no” to her when she needs my help.
Queenie, what do you have to say about all this?—Not made of money
Dear Not made of money,
Are you certain your friend needs help, or does she just think you are a soft touch?
When she asks for a loan, tell her you are sorry, but you are short of cash yourself, and ask if there is any other way you can help her.
And do not feel embarrassed to ask for her help if/when you need it. Turn about is fair play.
Dear Queenie,
A relative gave me a lottery ticket for my birthday and it turned out I won a prize with it. Now that relative expects me to share my winnings with them.
Queenie, do I have to give them some of the money?—Lucky winner
Dear Winner,
A gift belongs to the recipient to do with it as they please.
You are under no obligation to share your winnings with the person who gave you the ticket, but it would be generous of you to do so, and it is up to you just how much you decide to give them. Or, you could take them out to dinner or give them some other treat “to celebrate”.
