Dear Queenie,
My husband was much older than I am. His children used to introduce me to people as “Dad’s wife” because I am only a few years older than they are.
Now that he has passed away they do not know how to refer to me. “Stepmother” does not seem right because we are so close to the same age.
Queenie, do you have any suggestions?—His widow
Dear Widow,
My condolences on your loss.
They could refer to you as “Dad’s widow” or “my late father’s wife” or simply by your name, with explanations about the relationship coming later.
Dear Queenie,
I’m planning on asking my girlfriend to marry me and I’m wondering if I should buy an engagement ring to give her when she says “yes”, or take her afterwards to buy one together so she can choose the one she wants.
Queenie, what do you say?—Fiancé-to-be (I hope!)
Dear Fiancé-to-be,
I suggest you visit a jeweller before you pop the question and ask them to set aside several rings in the price range you can afford. Then, if she says “yes”, you can take her to choose the one she likes best, and if she says “no” you will not get an expensive as well as unpleasant surprise.
Dear Queenie,
I’m going to be in high school next year and I haven’t ever had a girlfriend yet, but I know a lot of girls and I care about all of them.
Queenie, when I have a girlfriend, will that mean I have to stop caring about other girls?—Young teenager
Dear Teenager,
There are different degrees of love. When you are ready for a serious relationship, your feelings for that one woman will be much stronger than the feelings you have for girls now, and your feelings then for any other woman. And until that happens, you will not be ready to settle down with just one woman.
Dear Queenie,
My brother owns a shop and for his birthday he gave my son a gift card for the shop he owns.
Queenie, was this in bad taste?—Just wondering
Dear Just wondering,
If your son likes the merchandise your brother sells, no, not any more than a gift of cash or a cheque would have been.
Dear Queenie,
My girlfriend and I have been living together for a couple of years and she talks a lot about us getting married, but I’m not ready for that yet.
Queenie, what can I say to change the subject when she starts that kind of talk? I don’t want to get married, but I don’t want to break up with her.—Reluctant boyfriend
Dear Boyfriend,
Tell her what you have told me – that you just are not ready yet for that kind of commitment. And if she becomes angry and tries to force the issue, beware! That kind of behaviour could be a warning sign of a potential abuser (yes, women can abuse their male partners!).
