Dear Queenie,

  My wife and I have been together for almost 10 years, married for about half that time. I cheated on her once and she found out about it. She decided to stay with me, and I never cheated again, but now she checks my phone and my computer all the time and won’t let me go anywhere alone except to work and even there she is constantly checking up on me. She makes me feel like some sort of prisoner, not her husband.

  Queenie, do you think that is right?—Now-faithful husband

Dear Husband,

  No, it is not right, but your wife does not trust you because you broke the trust she once had in you. However, treating you like a prisoner will not renew her trust in you.

  Professional counselling together might help the two of you work through these matters. And if your wife will not go with you, go by yourself to get help deciding what you want your future to be like and how to make it so.

Dear Queenie,

  My niece is getting married, but I have not been invited to the wedding, only to a reception afterward. They said they are keeping the ceremony small, but I found out there will be about 20 people there.

  They also gave me some suggestions for a wedding gift when I asked what she might like, all rather expensive.

  Queenie, what do you think about all this? Should I be offended?—Wedding guest

Dear Wedding guest,

  Twenty people is a rather small group for a wedding ceremony, but considering the bride or the groom, or both, may have large immediate families, not to mention the bride’s and groom’s attendants, do not be offended, just enjoy the reception.

  As for the wedding gift, give them whatever gift you can afford – if you cannot decide what to buy, cash (or a cheque) will always be welcome.

Dear Queenie,

  My son admitted to me very privately that he is gay and particularly asked me to not let anyone else know. Him being gay isn’t a problem for me, but keeping it a secret is.

  He is engaged to be married and he especially asked me to not tell his fiancée. It is not right for her to marry him without knowing this about him and if it might make her change her mind about being married to him she should have a chance to decide before she marries him.

  Queenie, I won’t tell her, but I think he should. What do you say?—Worried mother

Dear Mother,

  I agree with you that your son’s fiancée should know he is gay before she marries him. It will be less hurtful for both of them if knowing this about him before they get married makes her change her mind about marrying him, than if finding out after they are married makes her decide to end their marriage – especially if she only finds out after they have had a child – or several children.

  There are LGBT organisations that give help, including counselling, to persons like your son. If there are no branches of such groups locally where you live, they can be contacted online.

Dear Queenie,

  I’m 15 and I’ve been going with my boyfriend since last year. Now he is pushing me to have sex with him, but I don’t feel ready for that yet.

  Queenie, what can I tell him to make him stop?—Young girlfriend  

Dear Girlfriend,

  Tell him you are not ready for that yet, and if he does not stop pushing you for sex you will break up with him so he can find a girlfriend who will give in to him.

  If that does not settle the matter, send him on his way and consider yourself lucky to be rid of someone who has so little respect for you.

  I know it will not be easy for you, but it is better to break up with someone you are fond of than to let him pressure you into doing something you do not feel right about.