Dear Queenie,

  I’m all grown up and married and living with my husband in our own home, but whenever my mother comes to see us she goes through my things (including things like a desk I share with my husband) like she did when I was a child living with her.

  We have asked her not to do this but she won’t stop. She says it’s her right because she’s my mother.

  Queenie, don’t we have a right to some privacy?—Angry daughter

Dear Daughter,

  Of course you have a right to privacy, even from your mother.

  Put some locks on the places you do not want your mother getting into – and keep the keys someplace where she cannot get hold of them. If she complains, just tell her it is your right because you are an adult.

Dear Queenie,

  My daughter got a divorce when she found out her husband was cheating on her. She has custody of their children and she won’t let them see their father. She also doesn’t want the rest of her family to have anything to do with him.

  His family all live far away from here and he was always close to us when they were married because we were all the family he had. And the other woman broke up with him when our daughter found out about her.

  Queenie, what he did was wrong, but now he is so depressed and I feel so sorry for him. Is there anything I can do?—Sad grandmother

Dear Grandmother,

  Do not lie to your daughter. You may have to cut your ties with your ex-son-in-law.

  However, you can point out to your daughter that her children need their father and by keeping him away from them she is punishing them as well as him. They will understand that nobody approves of what he did – the divorce is his punishment – but he is still their father.

Dear Queenie,

  I saw something about a friend on Facebook and mentioned it to them the next time I saw them. They seemed offended said something about how did I know their personal business.

  Queenie, did I do something rude?—Online Etty Ket

Dear Etty Ket,

  No. When you put things on Facebook they are there for everyone to see unless you set the controls to limit who can see it. If you do not do so, it is silly to be offended when someone sees it and comments on it.

  All the same, the best thing you could have done would have been to apologise for offending them and change the subject or move away.

Dear Queenie,

  A friend of mine let me buy some things on her credit card and I was paying it off, but since the pandemic I have had wage cuts and I got behind on the payments and she got a call from a collection agent.

  She didn’t want her husband to know she had let me use the card so she lied to the agent and said she never gave me permission. Now she is even threatening to take me to court. I can understand her not wanting her husband to find out she let me use the card but if she takes me to court it will ruin our friendship.

  Queenie, is there anything it can do to fix all this?—Worried friend

Dear Friend,

  You can point out to your friend that if she takes you to court you will testify under oath that she did give you permission to use the card and it will be a matter of record, so her husband surely will find out about it. Furthermore, if she says in court that she did not give you permission she will be committing perjury, which is a crime.

  Whatever happens, I would say this friendship is over. Nevertheless, you should be sure to pay off the credit card debt completely.